Do you ever feel like you can’t move on from your past mistakes? You’re constantly haunted by what you did, and no matter how much time has passed, you keep wondering “how do I forgive myself?”.
Making mistakes is a normal and inevitable part of life. But unfortunately, when we make mistakes, it’s tough to forgive ourselves.
We may dwell on our errors, feel guilty or ashamed, and think that we are not worthy of forgiveness. But self-forgiveness is an essential step on the road to happiness and peace of mind.
One of the most important things to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of being human. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person. Recognizing this can help you be more forgiving towards yourself.
Forgiving yourself is the first step to moving on and learning from your past experiences. It also opens up the possibility of forgiveness from others. How can you expect others to do the same if you can’t forgive yourself?
Tips to help make forgiving yourself easier
Allow yourself time to heal and don’t rush the process. It takes time to recover from a physical wound, and it also takes time to heal from the emotional pain of making a mistake.
It’s essential to learn from your mistakes, but it’s equally important to give yourself time to heal afterward. Rushing the healing process can lead to further anxiety and stress, preventing you from moving on healthily.
Part of healing is accepting what happened and forgiving yourself.
Trying to forget what happened or dwelling on what could have been will keep you stuck in the past. Instead, focus on the present and building a purposeful future.
Focus on the present. Living in the past won’t change anything. Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, focus on the present and what you can do to improve the situation. For example, if you make a mistake at work, focus on doing your best and learning from your mistake.
By focusing on the present, you’ll be able to move on from your mistakes and become a stronger person from the experience.
Seek support and help. It’s helpful to talk to someone about what you’re going through, such as a friend, therapist, or online support group. Talking about your experiences can help you process them in a healthy way and see things from a different perspective.
Be gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up about your mistakes will only make things worse. Instead, it’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for trying your best.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that you can learn from them. Forgiving yourself is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Deciding to forgive yourself is not always easy, but it’s worth it. By forgiving yourself, you’re taking the first step towards moving on and learning from your experiences. Remember to be patient with yourself, talk to someone about what you’re going through, and be gentle.
You deserve forgiveness, and you will get there in time. If you are struggling, speak to a good friend or therapist. Talking to a therapist will provide you with practical steps to guide you through the healing process. Don’t be ashamed of speaking to a therapist. They are professionally trained to support people through challenging situations.
Follow these tips and reap the forgiveness and healing that you yearn for.
When most people think about the psychology behind happiness, they assume that it is something that happens to them. They don’t believe they can choose happiness, but it’s a choice you make every day. You can control your thoughts and emotions and decide to be happy.
6 ways that show how happiness Really is a choice:
1. You decide where to focus your energy
What you focus on has a significant impact on your happiness. For example, if you choose to focus on the negative, you will notice all the bad things in your life and be unhappy. However, if you focus on the positive, you will feel optimistic about your life.
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life shows your brain that most things turn out okay. Each day can bring many things that support our happiness.
But conversely, when you focus on the negatives, your brain automatically goes into survival mode and worries about all the things that could go wrong.
Studies show that positive thinking can improve your health! For example, one study showed that people who had a positive outlook on life were less likely to die from cardiovascular disease.
You will face challenging problems in life, but how you respond to tough situations matters. During difficult times, some people choose to focus on all the negative aspects of their lives, and they become unhappy.
Others prefer to focus on the positive, and they can maintain a strong sense of happiness and well-being while they determine solutions to their issues.
When you decide how you respond to situations, you choose how you want to feel. For example, if you get laid off from your job, you can focus on the negative and feel sorry for yourself or focus on the positive and see it as an opportunity to find a better job.
Set an example for others. When you choose to be happy, you inspire those around you to do the same despite facing difficulties.
Respond instead of reacting. When you react to a situation, you usually act out of emotion and do not think clearly. When you respond to a problem, you make a conscious decision about how to act.
3. You control your thoughts
Your thoughts have a massive impact on your happiness. If you want to be happy, you must take control of your life and decide how you want to think. Only then will you be able to maintain your happiness.
Be aware of your thoughts. The first step to controlling your thoughts is to be mindful of them. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can question why you think of them.
Practice positive self-talk. One way to control your thoughts is to practice positive self-talk. Instead of talking to yourself negatively, change the narrative. For example, instead of saying, “I’m so fat,” say, “I’m healthy, and I love my body.”
Choose your thoughts wisely. Another way to control your thoughts is to choose them. When presented with an idea, ask yourself if it is helpful or harmful. If it is destructive, let it go.
What you allow yourself to think about has a significant impact on your happiness. You can choose to think about cheerful things, or you can choose to think about sad things. It’s up to you!
4. You can change your mindset
If you want to be happy, you can change your perspective. Many people believe that happiness is something that you are born with and that you can’t control. However, this isn’t true! You can choose to be happy by changing your mindset.
The first step to changing your mindset is to choose to be happy. Decide that you will be happy, no matter what.
Life will present you with problems. However, you can decide to look at the world with a “glass half full” mindset or a “glass-half-empty” mindset. You decide.
Write your negative thoughts in a journal to identify when and why you have these thoughts. When you understand why you have negative thoughts and feelings, you can create a plan to process your thoughts healthily.
See a therapist. A negative mindset might stem from childhood or adulthood trauma. A professional can provide tools to help shift your mindset from negative to positive.
3. You can change your behavior
Your behavior affects your happiness. If you want to be happy, you need to choose to act to make yourself happy.
Choose your actions wisely. When an opportunity presents itself, ask yourself if it will make you happy. If the answer is no, then don’t do it!
Make a list of things that bring you joy and try to do at least one of those things each day.
Avoid people who bring you down. There is no reason to keep people in your life who make you unhappy. If someone consistently gets you down, it’s time to let them go.
Do something new. Trying new things is a great way to spice up your life, leading to happiness. When you step out of your comfort zone, you open yourself to new experiences and possibilities.
6. You can find meaning in your life
When you find meaning in your life, you are more likely to be happy. To find meaning in your life, ask yourself what you are passionate about and what you want to achieve. Once you have a good understanding of these things, you can start working towards them.
Achieving your goals will strengthen your mental health and give your life purpose and meaning.
Do something that you are passionate about. When you are working on something you are passionate about, you are more likely to be happy.
Help others. One of the best ways to find meaning in your life is to help others. When you help someone, you make a positive impact on their lives and make yourself feel good.
Do something that brings you joy. When you do something that makes you feel good, it boosts your mood and improves your mental health. Doing things that make you happy will also help you find meaning in your life.
Happiness is a choice
You can choose to be happy, no matter what life throws your way. When you decide to be happy, you are more likely to find happiness in your life. So, change your mindset, focus on the positive aspects of your life, and find peace in the little things.
Find meaning in your life and do more of the things that make you feel at ease. When you focus on the problematic parts of your life, they multiply. However, things look brighter when you place your energy into the positive aspects of your life. Every day, you get to decide how you think or feel. Today, choose happiness.
Change is inevitable. Look at your hobbies, friends, clothes, taste in music, TV shows, family, and career. Many of those things have changed. The people around you have changed. The political climate has changed. There’s change everywhere.
Change can bring fear, doubt, and uncertainty. However, it’s not helpful to view change negatively. In order to survive, it’s necessary to adapt to change.
There are new experiences and understandings to be gained as a result of the changes in your life. If you never changed, you’d still be playing in the sandbox at the playground and eating dirt.
If you’re finding it difficult to embrace changes in your life, using the following strategies can help.
7 Tips on How To Accept Change
1. Understand that life is always changing
Life is change. Life is always evolving. It’s the very nature of life. Think about how much you’ve changed since you were an infant.
Your body and view of the world have changed considerably over the years. Change is a natural part of life.
2. See change as a positive thing
Imagine how bored you would be if nothing ever changed.
Change expands your comfort zone. Change provides opportunities. Change provides new experiences. Dealing with change teaches you about yourself.
3. See the opportunities that this change provides
There are positive aspects to the changes you’re currently facing in your life. You just have to look for them.
For example, losing a job provides many opportunities. You can change careers. Find a better company. Find a better paying job. Get away from that annoying coworker. Move someplace new. You’ll have more free time for a while to spend on your family and hobbies.
A divorce can be traumatic, but it also brings new opportunities. You can find a more suitable partner. You can move to a new house. You have more control over your free time. You can put a challenging relationship behind you.
4. Imagine a positive outcome
It’s easier to deal with change if you can visualize a positive outcome. See a compelling picture in your mind. When you feel stressed, go back to that picture. A positive expectation for the future can be motivating.
5. Pay attention to what you can control
Any situation that involves change has elements that can be controlled and others that cannot be controlled. You can control your attitude, decisions, actions, and usually several other things. There are also elements beyond your control.
It’s important to spend your time and energy on the things you can control.
Focusing on the things you can’t control can leave you feeling depressed and powerless.
6. Change makes you stronger
The organisms that have survived the most successfully are those that are best able to adapt. Organisms that can’t adapt become extinct. Humans are excellent at adapting. They just don’t like to do it! Every change you overcome makes you a stronger person.
7. What other options do you have besides making the best of it?
Chances are, they will all involve some type of change too. Many times, you can choose which change you want, and you can take action to make it happen.
Most people avoid or fight change when it occurs, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Change can bring amazing opportunities!
Change is all around you. Change brings you new ideas, people, and experiences. Life is too short to live the same day over and over. Be grateful for the changes happening in your life. You might be on the path to something new and wonderful.
Which Obstacle To Change Is Holding You Back
Change occurs naturally, but it can be difficult to keep it flowing in the direction you want. According to some estimates, 80% of New Year resolutions fail. When it comes to losing weight, more than 95% of dieters regain the weight they lost within three years.
Even if you sincerely want to make positive changes in your life, success may elude you. Maybe you’re sabotaging yourself without realizing it. Maybe you’re skipping essential steps that would make your efforts pay off.
Find out what is holding you back from living the life you want. Take a look at three common obstacles to personal change and learn how to overcome them.
Living With Uncertainty
Clinging to what’s familiar can give you a sense of security. However, staying in your comfort zone may mean missing out on a more meaningful life.
Let go of judgements. Stop rushing to categorize people or events. Slow down and open up your mind to other viewpoints.
Clarify your vision. When you know what you’re trying to accomplish, it’s easier to make specific pans. Reflect on your goals and write them down.
Focus on gains. When you’re taking on a challenge, imagine the rewards as well as the possible pitfalls. Motivate yourself by thinking positive. Even if the outcomes aren’t what you had in mind, you can learn from the experience.
Start small. Begin with modest changes. Each victory will boost your confidence and abilities.
There are many simple and free things you can do to take care of yourself. On the other hand, you may have some goals that will require time, money, and other resources. Learn how to build your capacity.
Set priorities. Trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming. PIck one or two top concerns and focus your efforts there.
Get organized. You can accomplish more when you have a system. Clear away mental and physical clutter. Invent routines that will save you time and money.
Revise your budget. Look for ways to cut spending and increase your income. Bring your lunch to work instead of eating at sandwich shops. Turn your hobby into a side income.
Seek information. Maybe you need additional knowledge and skills to make the changes you have in mind. Sign up for training at work or take a course online.
Ask for support. Having a strong network makes you more resilient. Ask your family and friends for the assistance you need.
Habits are powerful. Unless you examine your actions, you may wind up reacting to situations automatically instead of choosing the options that will make you happier and more productive.
Identify triggers. Maybe you’re trying to quit smoking, but you reach for a cigarette as soon as you pour your morning coffee. Figure out the triggers that distract you from your positive intentions.
Develop substitutions. Once you know the situations where you’re likely to lapse, you can craft alternative responses. Keep your hands busy with needlework or a video game instead of smoking a cigarette.
Practice mindfulness. Research shows that it often takes a couple of months for new habits to solidify. Plus, being consistent during the first few days of starting a new practice will increase your chances of success. Remind yourself that being patient and vigilant now will benefit you.
It’s important to embrace change if you want to grow. Once you understand what’s holding you back, you can come up with strategies that will help you reach your personal and professional goals.
Luckily, most of what you need to know to live life wisely has already been said and written. A lot of intelligent people have already lived and shared their ideas and experiences. This is one of the best aspects of reading good books. You can learn from others, rather than having to figure it out yourself.
Consider these nuggets of wisdom:
Action often trumps knowledge. Someone that knows a little but does a lot will beat someone that knows a lot but does little. Ensure that you’re not procrastinating under the guise of gathering more information.
Focus on the things you can control. If you can control it, why worry? Just take action to manage it the best you can. If you can’t control it, there’s no value in worrying.
You can’t control other people. You can’t make anyone change. Instead, focus on being the best you can be.
Your life is passing by quicker than you think. There’s no time for worrying or waiting. Get busy living your life.
Progress is more important than perfection. Striving for perfection is a waste of time. Just focus on doing a little better today than you did yesterday. Good things will happen.
Failure is a required part of success. Stop trying to avoid failure. Learn from your mistakes, do your best, and keep moving forward until you reach your goal.
People think about you a lot less than you think they do. It might be a relief, or it might be insulting, but few people care about your successes and failures. Either way, it’s true.
The best policy is to take responsibility for everything in your life – good and bad. If you accept responsibility, you can celebrate your successes and fix anything that’s unacceptable to you. Blame others and you’re powerless.
What you want most is better than what you want right now. Avoid the tendency to make yourself happy today instead of doing what will make you happy in the future. For example, saving your money for the house you desperately want to buy is a smarter option than buying a motorcycle today. Be willing to make sacrifices for what you really want.
Choosing whether to be right or to be happy is an important decision. When dealing with others, there are times that you can’t be both. Which is more important to you?
Dealing with your fears is much easier than avoiding them. Deal with a fear and it eventually goes away. Avoid it, and you’ll soon be structuring your life around it.
Most of the things you fear will never happen. And if they do, it won’t be as bad as you think.
Your time is your most valuable possession. Time is the one thing you can’t get more of. How you spend your time determines the quality of your life.
People are doing the best they can. You don’t know what others are going through or have gone through. Everyone is doing the best they can at that moment.
Place a priority on your health. Everything suffers if your health deteriorates.
Avoid making decisions when you’re emotionally compromised. Science has shown that your ability to make wise decisions is hindered by strong emotions. Wait until you calm down.
Quitting is failing. You’ve only failed when you quit.
Choosing to live your life wisely is your right. Too many people live life the hard way. There’s no reason to guess what it takes to be happy and successful. The wisdom of others is a great starting point.
Do you have any bits of wisdom? Add them to this list. Keep adding more ideas as you discover them.
If you have more to do than you have time to do it in, you’re not alone. Regardless of how much society advances with new technology that’s supposed to enable us to do more in less time, there never seems to be enough time to do everything that needs to be done.
But what if you could essentially add another hour or two to your day? How would you use that time?
While you can’t actually add time, you can free up additional time with these techniques:
9 Time-Saving Tips in Daily Life or at Work
1. Eliminate unnecessary tasks
Maybe you just have too many things to do! Take a detailed look at your life and determine if there are any tasks that you’re doing that are simply unnecessary. There are bound to be a few things you can eliminate from your life without suffering any negative impact.
2. Delete social media accounts
Social media platforms can be valuable, but they are also great timewasters. There’s also a lot of evidence that social media use can be harmful to your mental health.
Consider deleting your social media accounts and picking up the phone once in a while to check in on your friends and family the old-fashioned way.
3. Disable notifications
Do you really need to be notified of every text, email, and app activity in real time? Turn all of it off and take a quick peek every few hours to see if you’re missing something important.
4. Avoid perfection
Some tasks require a high level of attention. Others do not. It’s not necessary to clean out your closet with the same level of perfection as a surgeon performing a liver transplant. Ask yourself how well a task really needs to be done and perform it at an appropriate level of effort and detail.
5. Ask yourself how you can do this task better and faster
Are you sure you’re taking the best route to work? Are you cleaning your house efficiently? Think about every task you do on a regular basis and search for a more efficient way of doing it.
It’s possible to outsource much of your life. No one can eat, sleep, or exercise for you, but you can pay others to do a lot of things for you.
There are people that will clean, do laundry, mow grass, drive, shop, cook, do your taxes, and build your new deck for you.
You might even have a partner or children that can carry some of your load.
7. Schedule your day
A decent plan is lightyears better than no plan at all. Think about what you need to accomplish and make a list. Stick to your list and you’re bound to get more done in less time each day.
8. Consider your mealtimes
Eating takes more time than people realize. You have to shop for the food, cook it, eat it, and clean up afterwards. If you eat three meals a day, that’s a lot of time.
Some meals are much quicker than others. A sandwich and an apple eaten on a paper plate is less time and work than roasting a chicken, making mashed potatoes, and washing pots and pans.
Shop for foods that are easy to prepare and have minimal cleanup. Also, shop as infrequently as possible. Each trip to the store can take an hour or more.
9. Track your time
Where are you wasting time? How are you spending all of your time? You might be surprised where your time is going if you’ve never taken a hard look at it.
Spend a couple of days logging your tasks and how much time you spend on them. Pay particular attention to the time spent on electronic devices and other amusing activities.
Now Learn How To Stop Wasting Time
We notice how and when we waste time on a large scale. We notice that we spent an hour on social media or that we watched TV for three hours. However, these aren’t the only ways we waste time. We waste time in dozens of ways each day.
Many of this time wasters aren’t always obvious, but the time can really add up over the course of a day, a week, or a decade.
Don’t let your time just be frittered away! Imagine how much you could accomplish in that time! What could you do that really matters to you?
8 Ways To Stop Wasting Time In Daily Life:
1. Have a phone charger with you
How many times in a week do you need a phone charger and have to go into the other room to fetch it? Have multiple chargers and keep them handy in the locations you spend the most time.
It’s not just the time it takes to get the charger. It’s the disruption to your thoughts and workflow. Plus, once you leave the room to locate your charger, who knows what else will grab your attention along the way.
2. Internet speed
How much time do you spend waiting for a web page to load? Or a movie to stream? You might not think you’re waiting for very long, but it all adds up. If your internet is noticeably slow, your time is being wasted.
3. Checking e-mail
It just takes 10 seconds to check email, right? Hardly. That quick look alters your concentration, and there’s no telling how far down the rabbit hole you’re going to go.
You might open three emails, respond to one one them, and then remember that you have another email to answer.
What if the email is a link to a video of a cat chasing a dog?
How many times do you get up from your desk to get a drink? However many times it is, it’s too many. Keep a beverage handy when you’re working. Take a sip and get back to work.
Keep something healthy available. If you have to go to the vending machine for a snack, you can’t be sure who you’ll run into or how long you’ll be gone.
6. Get gas for your car on the weekend
You don’t want to be rushed on Tuesday morning and realize that your car needs gas on the way to work. Plan ahead.
We spend a lot of time thinking about meals, planning meals, buying food, cleaning dishes. If you have to stop on the way to work for breakfast, go out for lunch, and then pick up something at the store for dinner, you’re wasting a lot of time.
Go to the store once a week, at most.
Have food that can be prepared quickly and easily and doesn’t require multiple pots and pans to prepare it.
8. Looking for “lost” things
This could be your keys, purse, wallet, a pen, your shoes, jacket, umbrella, or anything else you’ve temporarily misplaced. Keep the essentials in a particular place.
For example, don’t ever put your car keys anywhere but in the decorative bowl by the front door. Your pen should be on your desk. Your shoes should be where your shoes belong if they’re not on your feet.
After you’ve eliminated the big wasters of time in your life, start looking at the tiny wasters of time. You’ll quickly realize that the impact on your life isn’t so tiny.
Every disruption has a greater impact than just the amount of time the disruption robs from you. Consider the loss of focus and momentum. It takes time to get back on track mentally after you’ve scoured the house or your workplace for a pencil.
Guard your time with your life – the life you really desire!
Everyone gets the same 24 hours each day to live life. Whether your 24-hour day is easy and carefree or extremely busy, it’s also helpful to find additional time to use as you see fit.
You can’t make a day last longer, but you create additional hours by being more effective, more efficient, and reducing unnecessary tasks and responsibilities.
Self-defeating beliefs may create or exacerbate anxiety. Below is a list of self-defeating beliefs that lead to anxious thoughts and ways to overcome them.
Examples of Self-Limiting Beliefs With Solutions
Filtering: Focusing on the negative to the exclusion of the positive. Solution: When you’re thinking/feeling bad, try to do the opposite.
Black & White Thinking: Things are good or bad – it’s all or nothing with no middle ground. Solution: Look for the exception to your point of view – yes, but. . .
Overgeneralization: Exaggerating or taking things to the extreme. Solution: Avoid words such as: always, never, every, all, none, everybody, and nobody. Question the extremes. Is there any time that is not true?
Mind Reading: Making assumptions about an outcome or someone’s motivation. Solution: Can you really know what’s going to happen or why something happens? What another person’s intentions are? How can you know for sure? What are other possibilities?
Catastrophizing: AKA awfulizing – expecting and projecting the worst. Solution: Remember that there is usually more than one possible outcome and the worst catastrophe usually does not happen.
Personalization: It’s all about me – my fault – I did it wrong – they hate me – I am the only one who can do this. Solution: How do you know? Prove it, or consider other possibilities. Let others take ownership.
Control Fallacies: Either you have no control or you can control everything. Solution: Let go of what you can’t control and be realistic about what you really can control.
Fallacy of Fairness: You think everything should be fair. Solution: Life is not fair. Accepting this will help you have more realistic expectations.
Blaming: You don’t take responsibility for your choices and project fault onto others. Solution: Take responsibility for your choices, including your feelings. Nobody else can make you feel or do anything. How you feel or react is up to you. Blame isn’t necessary/helpful – it is what it is.
Shoulds: Words like should, ought, and must foster impossible expectations and often result in disappointment, resentment, and failure. Solution: Flexibility is the key here. Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt.
Emotional Reasoning: A belief that your emotions are based in truth. Solution: Challenge emotions with logic. Look for exceptions that are reasonable and possible.
We tend to get held back from achieving our goals by the ultimatums we place on ourselves. We get tense and pressured when what we want coincides with our inbuilt ideas of “right.”
For example, when we see a messy house, we believe we need to clean it. We may have a strong desire to pursue a particular career. But then we turn around and tell ourselves, “I can’t do it!”
A person who keeps doing what is “right” but sacrifices his desires and passions in exchange has his beliefs holding him back. Most of us give up on our dreams because of our expectations of ourselves.
Our internal guidelines lead us in how we spend our money, view our relationships and career choices, and how we spend our free time. Since our beliefs are so important, it’s a good practice to learn those common ones that hold us back from living the life we deserve.
1. the belief that you’re not good enough.
Many people give up before they reach the top simply because they’re not convinced that they have what it takes. Others settle for less, thinking that the rewards will not make them happy.
Believing that you’re not good enough is the most challenging and damaging belief to overcome. It’s important to know yourself and accept who you are.
Consider that you have the same circumstances as the others before you who achieved incredible things. Combat the desire to compare yourself with others. That will only cause you more stress and hinder your progress.
2. The Belief that it’s possible for them but not you
Many people develop a pessimistic attitude. They believe that others have everything going for them, but they don’t have the energy or the right circumstances to make those things happen for them.
Everyone has challenges. Everyone struggles. Everyone faces obstacles. But instead of looking at those as unfavorable, think of them as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Our negative experiences create the patterns we follow. The brain maps out the pattern according to your response to the experience. For example, if you were told to go to bed as punishment in your childhood, you’re likely to associate bed with fear and sadness.
Identifying Negative Emotions
Bottling up your emotions can lead to allergies, nausea, constipation, headaches, sleep disorders, and disease. The way your body reacts to emotions will help you identify them. Once you’ve pinpointed the negative emotion, you can try to control it.
Signs of Harboring Negative Emotions
Check whether you’re constantly giving in to negative emotions such as pessimism, vengefulness, or addictive behavior. If you are, forgiveness is the first step towards happiness.
Are You Expecting Too Much?
Learn to be realistic about your capabilities and those of others. You create your own world and you can only blame yourself if things don’t go according to plan. Avoid taking people for granted. If you lead a self-centered, meaningless life full of self indulgence, you can’t expect a positive outcome.
Dealing with Heartache
There are many ways to heal a broken heart. Learn to let go when it’s time. If you want to find love, don’t allow an inferiority complex to hold you back. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It’s just a matter of finding the right partner and not making them the center of your life. Preserve your independence and individuality.
Ways to Overcome Heartbreak and Move On
Write your feelings down in a journal. This will give you a good idea of what to look for in the future and what to avoid.
Ask yourself whether you’re always attracted to those who cannot contribute to your happiness.
Sweep away all memories of your failed relationship and imagine you’re sweeping away negative emotions from your heart.
Devote time to your hobbies and the activities you used to enjoy.
Exercise to keep yourself happy, fit and healthy, but don’t overdo it or it could lead to exhaustion.
Shift the focus from your misery to the lives of your friends. How are they faring? Talking to them about your feelings will lighten the load.
Forgive your ex. Be grateful for the joy you shared and the lessons you learned because of your relationship. Forgiveness is a prerequisite for future happiness.
Cultivate your spiritual self. Once you discover the joy within, you won’t be desperate to find it in the transient external world.
Give a needy dog or cat a loving home and you’ll get unconditional love in return. Pets are the best stress busters and mood lifters.
Natural Remedies to Help Let Go Of Negative Emotions
Research has shown that exercise is a more effective cure for depression than pills. Exercise 3-4 times a week for half an hour. Walk briskly, do yoga, go the gym, swim, dance, run, cycle. Exercise releases natural endorphins which give you a feeling of well-being.
Pranayama (Deep Breathing)
According to Leonard Laskow M.D., you can balance your emotions by practicing pranayama, a yogic deep breathing technique. It’ll also help you banish the feeling of isolation, thus preventing illness. In fact, pranayama has long been known to alleviate depression, negative emotions, and anxiety disorders. Basic pranayama is easy to master.
Tai Chi Or Yoga
Find a good Tai Chi or Yoga teacher. This gentle and slow exercise reduces stress, improves health, balances the emotions, and keeps you youthful.
There are also many amazing apps you can download to your phone that guide you through a routine.
Reiki for Emotional Healing
The healing symbols of reiki were discovered in the Buddhist sutras by the Japanese Professor Mikao Usui. They are believed to have been used by The Buddha. Reiki will balance your emotions, help you sleep better and heal physical ailments. Look for a reiki healer or learn the method yourself.
The Importance of Gratitude
It helps to remember your blessings when you’re feeling down. Once you begin to appreciate and feel grateful for simple pleasures, you can create a bright future for yourself.
Writing is cathartic. Unburdening yourself on paper strengthens the immune system, and gives you an idea of your destructive patterns and the physical symptoms that accompany or precede negative emotions such as anger and depression.
Emotional Freedom Technique
Investigate the EFT Technique which is a blend of acupressure and affirmations. It’s a tried and tested method which can bring relief quickly. A wide range of negative emotions can be cured through this technique and the effects are usually permanent.
While some issues may be better left to the professionals, there are many financial issues amenable to self-therapy. After all, many overweight people are able to lose weight without a psychologist, dietitian, and personal trainer.
By addressing the beliefs, thoughts, and habits related to your financial life, it’s possible to bring about real change.
If you’re not following through on the actions that you know would increase your financial stability, your beliefs are likely to blame.
Beliefs that inhibit financial results can come from many sources:
Erroneous personal observation
Childhood trauma related to family finances
Personal experience throughout life
The source of the ineffective belief doesn’t matter. But recognizing and addressing harmful money beliefs is very important to your financial progress. Beliefs create and limit your reality.
It might only be a few faulty habits that are holding you back from the financial security that you desire.
How exciting is that?
“Realizing that our actions, feelings and behavior are the result of our own images and beliefs gives us the level that psychology has always needed for changing personality.”
How Your Beliefs About Money Create and Limit Your Financial Reality
Your beliefs are the seeds that create your reality.
Your beliefs affect your thoughts, which affect your actions, which ultimately create your life circumstances. Changing your beliefs can be the most powerful way to alter your life. Altering your beliefs changes the entire cycle.
There are several ways that beliefs ultimately alter your financial behavior:
Beliefs influence your self-confidence
The set of beliefs you have about yourself and your capabilities determines your level of self-confidence. In turn, your confidence affects your ability to learn and apply new financial habits. Confidence also impacts your ability to pursue financial goals. If you’re not confident in your ability to get results, you won’t persevere.
Beliefs alter how you process information
Scientists have found that people use new information to support beliefs they already possess, rather than to form new beliefs. If you believe that you can’t save money, you’ll look for evidence to support that belief. Information that is contrary to your beliefs is quickly discarded and ignored. This makes change especially challenging.
Beliefs create limits
It’s almost impossible to rise above your beliefs. If you believe that you’ll never be wealthy, you’re right. If you believe you can’t stick to a budget, you’re right again. This is why it’s so important to change your beliefs to viewpoints that support, rather than limit, you.
Beliefs affect results
If you don’t think you can have a pleasant retirement, you’re unlikely to save or learn about the various types of retirement accounts. If you believe that money changes people for the worse, you won’t take the steps to accumulate a significant amount.
Beliefs are the core of financial challenges.
Enhanced beliefs lead to enhanced thoughts, actions, and results. Attacking your negative behaviors is a less effective route to success. Instead, focus on your beliefs and you’re more likely to enjoy positive benefits from your efforts.
What are your beliefs about money?
Make a comprehensive list of your beliefs regarding money, both positive and negative.
Here are few examples of beliefs you may hold:
I’ll have to work really hard to make a lot of money.
Making a lot of money will cut into my free time.
I already have enough money.
I don’t need a budget.
Money equals freedom.
If I make too much money, my ex-spouse will take most of it.
I wouldn’t know what to do with a lot of money.
Money makes the world go round.
Good people don’t care about having a lot of money.
More money would solve all of my problems.
Take the time to make a complete list. You’ll need it later.
There are many ways to change the course of your financial life. Addressing your beliefs is the most effective way to create the financial future you desire. With more supportive beliefs, it will be much easier to create the habits necessary to earn, save, and accumulate wealth.
“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, because it’s only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles, wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.”
What it Takes to Achieve a State of Financial Health
Financial health isn’t just how much money you make. There are multiple components to financial prosperity and stability. There are people earning over a million dollars each year with desperate financial challenges.
The belief that income is all that matters is a limiting belief.
Do you have all of these financial components under control?
Whether you’re earning minimum wage or running the most successful hedge fund the world has ever seen, a budget is important. Know how much you’re spending and where the money is being spent. There’s no way around it. The information is valuable to you and provides boundaries that ensure your financial success.
An income that surpasses your bills
If your bills outpace your income, you’re going to have financial woes. The most likely long-term outcome is bankruptcy. Everyone would be wise to increase their income and lower their bills.
An emergency fund
Life is neither perfect nor predictable. Sooner or later, an unexpected expense will occur. Many families are only a few weeks away from being homeless if sudden unemployment or a major expense occurs.
A minimal amount of debt
No matter how much money you have or make, it’s very easy to create more debt than you can handle. Avoid debt whenever possible. Especially avoid debt to purchase items that are consumable or lose value.
It’s also easy to spend more than you make. Are you an impulsive shopper? Do you like to purchase items that are out of your income bracket?
Are you saving a percentage of each and every paycheck? With regular saving, anyone can retire in style.
Investing your savings appropriately
Saving is great, but leaving your money in a savings account is less than ideal. Do your investing activities address your needs? Are you saving for retirement?
The necessary insurance to prevent financial catastrophe
A serious illness, fire, or death can derail the best-laid plans.
Look back at your list of beliefs and note which of the above items are influenced by your beliefs. You’ll probably have several additional beliefs to add to your list now.
Remember, earning a lot of money is a great advantage, but it’s not sufficient on its own to ensure financial security.
“If people are failing, they look inept. If people are succeeding, they look strong and good and competent. That’s the ‘halo effect.’ Your first impression of a thing sets up your subsequent beliefs. If the company looks inept to you, you may assume everything else they do is inept.”
Negative Money Beliefs
Consider your list of your money beliefs. It’s necessary to recognize which beliefs are negative and which are positive. Positive beliefs are those that allow you to positively affect the 8 components necessary for financial health. Negative beliefs get in the way of addressing the 8 components.
Examples of beliefs that keep you poor:
Rich people are greedy
Some rich people are indeed greedy. But some poor people are greedy, too. Many rich people became rich through kindness and helping others. Whether or not you’re greedy is up to you.
I don’t deserve to be wealthy
Everyone that creates value deserves to be wealthy. If you have a minimum wage job or spend the day sitting on the couch, you can change your financial circumstances by creating value and charging the world for it.
I’ll have to do a lot of things I don’t like to become wealthy
While doing things that others don’t like to do can be a faster way to wealth, there are numerous ways to accumulate wealth. At least one of them would be enjoyable for you.
My friends won’t like me if I’m rich
It’s common to find new friends as your life situation evolves. Some of your friends might not like the fact that you’re rich. But your true friends will be happy for you. Every change in life has the potential to influence everything else. Many CEOs and other wealthy folks still have the same friends from elementary school. You can choose to do the same.
Money is the root of all evil
The actual quote is “The love of money is the root of all evil.” Money doesn’t create negative situations. Money is just a piece of paper or a number attached to a bank account. Money provides opportunity. It’s your choice whether the actions you take are positive or negative.
I can’t be spiritual and have a lot of money
Many religions espouse the belief that being poor is somehow looked upon more kindly by the great powers that be. But if you were looking to convert a population that was 99.9% dirt-poor, you’d probably say the same thing. Having money gives you more opportunities to be good to yourself and others. It can also free up your time to engage in more spiritual activities.
I’m disrespecting my parents if I make more money than they do
Most parents would be thrilled to see their child doing so well.
It’s hard to make a lot of money
It can be hard to make any amount of money. Most people with moderate incomes complain about work. If you’re going to work anyway, why not make a lot of money while you’re at it? With the appropriate habits in place, it’s not too difficult to enhance your career, save more, spend less, and invest more wisely.
If I had a lot of money, I’d probably just lose it anyway
Keeping money is as much of a skill as earning and saving it. There are plenty of resources that can help you learn how to handle money wisely. The belief that you’ll end up where you started will prevent you from taking any meaningful action.
I shouldn’t have more money than I need
Everything in life is easier with a buffer. Imagine having more time and love than you need. Having more money than you “need” is comforting and opens up many possibilities that simply don’t exist without a surplus of funds.
It’s much easier to make a career change or go back to school.
You can afford to send your child to Harvard instead of the local community college.
You’re better prepared for any financial catastrophe.
The belief that you shouldn’t have more money than you need to survive will lead to surviving instead of thriving.
Do you have any of these common beliefs about money or yourself?
If you hold beliefs that inhibit your ability to address the components of a healthy financial situation, your challenge will be greater than necessary. You’ll sabotage yourself by neglecting the habits necessary to achieve financial happiness.
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”
Positive Money Beliefs
There are also beliefs that will speed you along the path to financial independence. These positive habits make it easier to have a positive financial future.
These beliefs can make you rich:
Money results from providing value to the world
It doesn’t matter how smart or educated you are. It doesn’t matter what you look like. The universe isn’t out to get you. If you provide value and charge people for it, you will receive a corresponding level of money. Brain surgeons make more money than your average store clerk because the surgeon is providing more value. A CEO of a large corporation earns more than a brain surgeon for the same reason.
Money provides freedom and choice
Money is great for solving problems and providing you with options. Maybe money can’t buy you love, but enough of it can fix a bad transmission, buy a ticket to Fiji, or allow you to play golf all day instead of working.
I can help others with my money
After your own needs have been tended to, you have the ability to help others with their challenges or assist them in attaining their goals.
My financial freedom will happen when I have effective beliefs, thoughts, and habits
It’s not necessary to do anything spectacular. Simple actions, taken on a regular basis, will result in great wealth. But it all starts with your beliefs.
Saving money is easy and enjoyable
How would your savings activities change if you believed this?
A budget is easy to create and follow
If you can’t seem to create or stick with a budget, this belief will help.
I only buy things I need
How would your bank account look if you lived this belief?
There are numerous others, but you get the idea.
Do you have more positive or negative beliefs about money?
Can you see how your beliefs about money are affecting your financial situation?
If you want to enhance your finances, eliminating negative beliefs and replacing them with positive beliefs is an effective plan of attack.
“The path of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alternation of old beliefs.”
How to Change Your Limiting Beliefs About Money
There are many ways to address harmful beliefs and replace them with positive. Many times, all that’s required is a little attention and an open mind.
Many of our beliefs are created during childhood and are never questioned. At one time, you believed in the Easter Bunny. So, it’s likely that you have several beliefs about money that are impractical, too.
The experts can’t agree whether beliefs can be changed in an instant or whether it takes a significant amount of time. By like the old Chinese proverb states, “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is today.”
John Grindler and Richard Bandler developed Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) in the 1970s. You’re probably familiar with Tony Robbins, who made the technology popular.
Though there are many facets to NLP, we’re most interested in the use of language and perception to change beliefs. For instance, if you imagine something that frightens you, the way you imagine it has an impact. There are an infinite number of ways to think about a spider, for example.
If the image of a spider in our mind is very large and colorful, it will have a different impact on your emotions than an image that’s small and lacking color.
The characteristics of a mental image are called submodalities. These include the visual, auditory, and kinesthetic details of a mental image.
Follow this process to change a belief with NLP:
Identify a belief you’d like to change. Let’s pretend you believe that you can’t save enough money each month to ever make a difference.
Consider an old belief that you no longer consider to be true. Perhaps you once believed in Santa Claus or that your high school girlfriend was the only woman you’d ever love. Notice the submodalities of this once-held belief.
Are you in the image or viewing it like you’re watching a movie?
Is it in color or black and white?
Is there a border around the image?
Is the image centered?
What do you hear?
Can you feel anything? Hot? Cold? Sick to your stomach?
Think of something you know to be true. It could be the belief that Christmas is on December 25th or that a dropped bowling ball will fall. Take note of the submodalities for this belief.
Think of a belief that you’d like to add. For our example, it might be the belief that every penny saved is adding to your fortune. Find the most advantageous counter-belief to the belief in step #1. Notice the submodalities.
Eliminate the belief in step #1. Take the submodalities you found in step #2 and apply them to the image in step #1. You’re applying the mental characteristics of a belief you no longer hold to the belief you’d like to eliminate.
Now alter the submodalities of the belief you’d like to add to match those of the belief in step #4. Make your desired belief have the same mental characteristics of the belief you know to be 100% absolutely true.
Test. How do you feel about the original belief and the new belief? Can you feel a change? The ultimate test is to observe your behavior. If you behavior changes, you know you’re on the right track.
Many people find this process highly effective. It’s possible to change a belief quickly with NLP. If NLP doesn’t seem to work for you, though, there are other options.
“The only thing that permits human beings to collaborate with one another in a truly open-ended way is their willingness to have their beliefs modified by new facts. Only openness to evidence and argument will secure a common world for us.”
Change a Belief With Logic
Humans are thinkers, and we can use logic to our advantage. Beliefs are funny things. Though we can be influenced to believe anything, we’re ultimately the creators of our beliefs. You can’t see or touch a belief in the real world. No one can give you a belief you don’t accept.
Use the power of logic to shake the foundation of your harmful beliefs:
Choose a belief you’d like to change. For this example, we’ll look at the belief, “Money is the root of all evil.”
Where did this belief come from? Did it come from your parents? A minister? A teacher? Neighbor? Did you read that money is the root of all evil? Knowing the origin can help to change the belief.
Is this source an expert? In reality, only a person that’s had a lot of money would have the experience to make such a statement. Your parents might have had authority over you, but did they really have authority and expertise when it came to being wealthy?
What is another possible explanation? It’s possible that money is the root of all evil, but what other explanation could there be? Maybe your current belief is just one possible explanation.
Maybe you just heard that money is the root of all evil so many times you’ve believed it without questioning it.
Maybe money gives evil people the chance to be evil. But does that mean that all people are evil?
Have you ever actually seen money causing evil? Money is just an object. Have you ever seen another object create evil?
Is it possible that the reasons for this belief only exist in your mind and not in the real world?
Realize we form many beliefs in childhood that fail to hold up to examination. It’s understandable why a child forms certain beliefs under the conditions of childhood. Those in similar situations would likely draw the same conclusions.
Can you see that any of the other interpretations could also be “the truth?” So what is the truth? It’s whatever you choose it to be. You are the creator, and your belief is merely your creation. You interpret ideas and experiences and assign value to these things. Find an interpretation that makes sense but also works for, rather than against, you.
Faulty beliefs can be easy to change because they have the disadvantage of being incorrect. Most of the beliefs that stand in your way can’t stand up to scrutiny. Examine your beliefs around money and put them to the test.
“When it comes to controlling human beings, there is no better instrument than lies. Because you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts.”
Cost – Benefit Analysis
You’ve undoubtedly made lists in the past listing the pluses and minuses of your available options. Why don’t do the same with your beliefs? If you realize what a particular belief is costing you, you’ll have greater motivation to address it. It’s also important to realize what you gain from beliefs that seem to be holding you back.
Follow these steps to analyze the cost and benefit of your challenging money beliefs:
1. Choose a belief you wish to change
Consider the belief, “I’ll never make $100,000 per year.”
2. What is this belief costing me?
A few examples might include:
If I don’t believe I can make $100,000, it’s unlikely I ever will.
I’ll be stuck in my current income bracket for the rest of my life.
I don’t have hope for the future.
I’ll never be able to buy the house I’ve always wanted.
I’ll have to work until I’m much older than I’d like.
3. How is this belief unreasonable?
Few things in life are 100% true all of the time. How is this belief ridiculous?
I can’t predict the future, so how could I possibly know how much I’ll make someday?
If I have the skills and work hard, than my current limits are irrelevant.
Other people with fewer skills, less intelligence, and less education have made over $100,000 per year. In fact, some of the wealthiest people in the world dropped out of high school.
There’s nothing magical about $100,000. It’s just a round number that looks good to my brain.
4. What do I gain by holding this belief?
In most cases, you’ll find that seemingly harmful beliefs have an advantage. That advantage is often avoiding fear or getting to be lazy. If you don’t think you can make more money, you don’t have to try. Harmful beliefs are often excuses to avoid taking action.
5. What would I gain by adopting a more helpful belief?
How would you benefit if you believed you could make $100,000 in the future?
I would greatly increase the likelihood of reaching this income level.
I would have hope and enthusiasm for the future.
I would work harder, and my job would be more secure from my increased effort and contribution.
6. Create an affirmation
State your new belief in a positive, present way. “I earn $100,000 per year.”
Repeat the affirmation 20 times each morning and evening while in bed.
Avoid discounting the effectiveness of affirmations. Try a simple experiment and apply affirmations to a simple task you routinely avoid, perhaps getting up the first time your alarm goes off. When you hear the alarm, turn it off and repeat, “Getting up, getting up, getting up” over and over again. You’ll find it much easier to put your feet on the floor!
One of these three methods will work better than the others for you. The key is to try all three.
Changing your beliefs takes effort. Merely understanding the processes won’t accomplish anything. It’s necessary to apply them consistently.
The world does not speak. Only we do. The world can, once we have programmed ourselves with a language, cause us to hold beliefs. But it cannot propose a language for us to speak. Only other human beings can do that.
A Simple Plan of Action
Determine the part of your financial life that’s causing the most grief. Suppose that you have no retirement savings.
Make a list of the beliefs that are having the greatest negative impact. Which belief is hurting you the most?
I’ll have plenty of time later.
I’m too young to worry about it.
I have to buy a house first.
I won’t live long enough to enjoy it.
I can’t afford to save money now for something I won’t need for 40 years.
It’s too complicated for me.
I’ll inherit all the money I could ever need.
The amount I’m able to save won’t make a difference.
Address them one at a time. Pick the belief that you think is creating the biggest obstacle and apply one of the techniques to eliminate the belief and create a new, more supportive belief.
Keep going until your behavior matches your wishes. It’s possible to feel better but not take action. Keep going until you’re taking real action. You might have to try all three techniques to have an impact.
Continue addressing all of your beliefs that don’t support your financial future. This will take time, but it’s time well spent.
A few simple steps taken each day will have a very positive impact in the future. Start by taking the first step.
“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.”
Louise L. Hay
Are your beliefs about money supporting you or acting like a boat anchor? We often know what to do, but struggle to follow through and take the appropriate action. Faulty beliefs inhibit your ability to address your finances successfully.
These beliefs alter your perception, behavior, and ultimately, your financial future.
It’s important to determine these beliefs and evaluate them. Consider how these beliefs negatively impact your financial future. What would you gain by eliminating these beliefs and instilling more helpful beliefs?
Changing your money beliefs can be accomplished by a variety of methods. Finding the optimal method is a matter of trial and error. It’s important to get started immediately. Financial challenges rarely happen overnight. The cure will take time, too.
We all have that one friend we know we can’t do without. Every time we speak with them, it’s that person who makes us feel better—that friend who can make friends without effort. And can calm uncomfortable situations with little difficulty.
Have you ever wondered how they do this? You may have noticed this and attributed it to your friend being a “people person.” It must be why everyone likes this person, you may think.
But what if it is known that this “people person” is this way because he has certain traits? Yet, you, too, can get these traits as well. Would this be something you’d like to learn? Would you like to be a people person, too?
If yes, it might interest you to know that your friend is a “people person” because of EQ, Emotional Quotient, or, in a simpler term, Emotional intelligence.
You might wonder, what is emotional intelligence? Let’s see what we can find out.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, or EI, was a concept coined in the mid-nineteen-nineties. Yet it gained popularity in 1995 in the best-seller written by Daniel Goleman.
Coleman defined emotional intelligence as the set of skills and traits that guide leadership. We will use this other definition to make it more relatable to us. Emotional intelligence is the ability to use, comprehend, and manage emotions. Whose emotions? Yours and that of others.
People who have a high level of emotional intelligence are particularly good at some things. Emotional awareness, for example, is one of them. Those with high emotional intelligence can easily recognize their own and other people’s emotions.
They can also use such feelings to help themselves solve problems and think more clearly. They can also control their emotions when necessary and assist others in doing the same.
According to researchers, the following components make up emotional intelligence:
This refers to the ability to regulate your emotions healthily. It also includes being able to take the initiative, as well as following through on commitments and changing your behavior to suit changing situations.
When you’re aware of your feelings and their influence on your thoughts and actions, you know your strengths and flaws and have self-confidence.
Social awareness involves being empathetic. When you have social awareness, you can perceive other people’s feelings, requirements, and concerns.
Social awareness enables you to feel comfortable in a social situation.
As a result, you will also recognize the balance of power in groups you associate with.
Management of relationships
This is the ability to understand how to build and maintain positive relationships. It also helps you communicate well and inspire and influence others. Managing relationships will help you to collaborate with others and resolve disputes with success.
When someone possesses these characteristics, we can call them emotionally intelligent. Knowing what makes up emotional intelligence is excellent, but why should it matter to you?
Impact of Emotional Intelligence
Your academic or work performance
High emotional intelligence can assist you in steering through social difficulties at school or at your job. Those with high EI succeed at leading and encouraging others, bringing them success, whether on the job, at home, or at school.
Your physical well-being
If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t control your stress. It can cause extensive health issues. For example, uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure.
It also raises the risk of strokes and heart attacks. And it can even speed up aging. Developing emotional intelligence helps maintain good physical health, preventing all these.
Your relationships are essential. You will communicate better if you develop emotional intelligence. Also, when you know how others are feeling and can respond appropriately, you will form stronger bonds at home, at work, and at school.
Beyond making you a people person, EI is vital for success in life. It will open up new doors and allow you to connect with others. In the end, you’ll feel happy and satisfied because of having this beneficial attribute.