i struggled with this in the past—and like many others, it rooted from my childhood and seeped its way into relationships as i matured
any time someone—whom i had a close relationship with—would try to change a behaviour of mine, i would rebel most of the time
but, under the surface, i was unaware of something much greater happening
i started subconsciously identifying with who they told me i was, or wasn’t. i started identifying with the behaviours they were attempting to change or with the new behaviours i took on
my sense of self slowly started to diminish, until i lost myself completely
who was i?
i had no idea who i was, yet i blamed it on others for trying to change who i was
who was it that they were trying to change? and that’s the problem—i didn’t know
thankfully, one day i realized
it wasn’t their burden to take on—it was mine
i was the one who didn’t know who i was
i wasn’t grounded in who i was
but now, none of that effects me
because now, i’m grounded in who i am
because now, i am responsible for who i am
because now, i am responsible for how I feel about who i am
nobody can make us feel any which way about ourselves, that’s on us
may you awaken
may you see clearly
may you be love
take care ❤️
rob
