Absurd Ironies We Live By

Absurd Ironies We Live By

Our lives are chock-full of illogical idiosyncrasies. Most of us lead lives of confusion and complexity mainly because we over-complicate the simple, and reverse the straightforward.

Here are some absurd ironies we all live by or have lived by at one time or another. Feel free to add your own to the list in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you can come up with 🙂

Enjoy!

Absurd Ironies We Live By:

We fear death yet don’t live like we’re going to die

We mourn death yet don’t celebrate life while it’s happening

We live in the past and wonder why we’re depressed

We live in the future and wonder why we’re anxious

We’re brave to hold up a mirror for others yet fear to look in our own

We spend 1/3 of our day at a job we don’t like and wonder why we aren’t happy

We try to avoid feeling certain emotions and wonder why we feel numb

We neglect to give ourselves love and wonder why we feel nobody loves us

We don’t take care of our bodies and wonder why our bodies break down

We retire from a job we never loved only to realize we wouldn’t have retired if we loved our job

We wait for others to make the first move yet it everyone thought like that there would be nothing to wait for

We believe in Karma yet live like we’re immune to it

We believe in material things yet don’t believe in ourselves

We constantly look for shortcuts and then wonder where the beauty in the journey is

We think we’re separate yet all of our hearts are told to beat by one

We search for our answers outside of us yet we have an infinite well of wisdom within us

We’re quick to judge others yet seldom look in the mirror

We’re always focused on what to do and then wonder why we aren’t who we want to be

We feed ourselves with man-made food and wonder why we have so many man-made diseases

We degrade our health to make money then spend that money on our degrading health

We trust the egos of other people yet don’t trust our own intuition

We hold grudges thinking we’re handing off our pain to the other person yet we’re the only one feeling the pain

We have most of our conversations through messaging and wonder why we don’t feel connected

We’re in a rush to get everywhere and wonder why we feel like we’ve gotten nowhere

 

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

 

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

How do you currently view your home? What does your home represent to you? A sanctuary? A war zone? A workplace?  A retreat? A warm welcome? A stress inducer? Would you like to change how you view your home?

We need to be very, very careful with what we bring into our homes, mentally and physically. These two factors will determine what your home represents to you.

Bringing Emotions Home

Maybe you had it out with your boss or co-worker Maybe you had your vacation denied or were told you “had” to work this coming weekend. Maybe you got into a fight with your spouse. Whatever the reason is, for your own sake and the sake of anyone you live with, don’t bring those emotions from those events into your home if at all possible.

Unless you’re one of the few people who has a room in their home dedicated to meditation, thought processing, or some form of mental or spiritual retreat, find time and space outside of your home to be with your thoughts and emotions. (If you don’t currently have a designated space in your home for this then it would be a great idea to see where you can implement one.)

Our homes are littered with distractions, kids, spouses, television, smartphones, iPads/Tablets, computers/laptops etc. All of them are a one-way ticket to the hazardous destination that arrives when we ignore our emotions.

This is when we lash out at our kids, pets, spouses, or anyone else who happens to be standing in front of us. So help them as they reap the wrath of our emotions.

Before long, we no longer look forward to coming home. We blame our kids and/or spouses for what we don’t want to come home to, yet take no responsibility for the distorted vision we bring home.

What tends to work for many people is spending whatever time they need (5-10min) in their cars to sit with their emotions, without distraction. Once you feel them, they will pass. This allows you to become more conscious of the thoughts and emotions you are bringing into your home.

You may do this by taking a longer, more scenic route home, or sitting in a parking lot somewhere.

For more insight on making this time effective I recommend you read my post of How To Quiet Your Mind With Meditation or Techniques after you read this one. You can then apply what you learn there to your quiet time.

Physically Bringing Work Home

With people working more and more hours, it is not uncommon for work to be brought home. Most people anxiously await the first opportunity to bring work home just to get out of the office. However, this can be a really, really bad idea. Let me explain why.

The more we perform a certain action within a specific environment, the more we associate our environment with that action. If that action is one you would not like to associate with your home, DO NOT bring it home.

If the environment that you normally perform that action within is not the desired environmental representation you want of your home then do not bring that action home.

For most people, the action is work-related and the undesired environment is work-related. Voila, you now view your home as a workplace or an office.

Working From Home

If your job allows you to work remotely from home for any amount of time, or you work from home full time, it is in your best interest to ensure you have a designated room for your office.

To avoid viewing the rest of your home outside of your office as a work environment (and any emotions associated with work) keep your work inside the office. Do not make exceptions to this rule by sometimes sitting down at the breakfast bar with your laptop and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

Before long you will look at your breakfast bar as a place of work rather than a potential place of peace with a cup of coffee, to reflect on yesterday’s wins and learning experiences.

Change Your View And What You See Changes

Your home is whatever you want it to be. After all, fundamentally it’s just a bunch of bricks mended together on top of a framework that gives us a sturdy foundation, electricity, and running water.

Any meaning that is given to your home beyond the materials it is made of is solely created by you. Even the purpose of your home is thought created, by you.

Change your view of your home and what you see of your home will change.

If you want your home to be a safe resting place, start creating that.

If you want your home to be full of love and peace, start creating that.

If you want your home to be a retreat from work, start creating that.

Whatever you want your home to represent to you, start creating it.

If you’re struggling with ideas on how to recreate your home environment then please share your story in the comment section and let’s come up with some ideas on how to make that happen for you.

Treat your home how you want to see your home

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

2 Shockingly Simple Questions To Help You Make Better Decisions

2 Shockingly Simple Questions To Help You Make Better Decisions

How would you like to be able to make better decisions just by asking yourself 2 shockingly simple questions? These 2 questions will have the power to rock your beliefs, shift your perspective immediately, and create clarity before you make a decision that could lead to a costly mistake.

Don’t let their simplicity fool you, make sure you read the backstory to each question to understand why they are so powerful and how to use them effectively.

Undesired Feelings Lead to Undesired Actions

I use these 2 questions on a daily basis any time I have a thought in my head that is creating undesired feelings or I want more clarity with my thoughts. Being aware that our actions are largely driven by emotion, I ask these 2 questions to ensure I don’t make decisions that I might later regret.

You can ask the 2 questions any time, but where they really shine is when you’re experiencing dilemma or undesired emotions. They will provide you with a source of emotional intelligence that has been previously untapped.

Objective: Separate Thought from Reality

Reality is defined as what actually happened or is happening without our thoughts attached to it.

Thought is defined as the meaning we give or the opinion we have on what has happened or is happening.

When you’re truly able to see that your entire experience of life is based on a thought created reality, and not reality itself, you will experience true freedom.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Question #1: Is it really true?

I first came across this question through the work of Byron Katie, in her life-changing books of profound simplicity. The 2 books of hers that I read are A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart and Turn Your World Around and Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.

What I love about this question is how it helps us separate our thoughts from reality. Or in more general terms, see through our made up bull shit.

Example

Say someone you love in your life didn’t wish you Happy Birthday on the day of your Birthday, what does this mean? You may have thoughts such as “they don’t love me” “I’m obviously not important to them” etc.

Now you can ask this question to separate reality from your thoughts.

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Is it really true? No (it’s your opinion, and an opinion you don’t have to believe)

The reality – They didn’t say Happy Birthday. (that’s it, nothing more, any additions to this reality are thought created illusions)

Initially, you will notice A LOT of resistance toward letting go of the thought that is purely opinion based and separate from reality. This is normal. Merely asking the question “is it really true?” will plant a seed of doubt on its’ own.

After asking this question, if you sit with the thought long enough, you will start to notice that the chokehold it has on you will start to loosen and you will notice fresh new thoughts starting to breathe through.

This is all you need, a crack in the foundation, the next question will crumble it.

Question #2: Does/Will believing this thought serve the greater good?

You must first understand that the answer to this question must come from you, not your ego. Your ego will want to preserve itself as all it cares about is itself, nobody else. If the thought in your head only serves you and nobody else then you can bet it is ego based.

Using the example from above:

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Does/Will it serve the greater good?

Let’s look at both sides

Yes, believing this thought will serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you believe this thought will serve the greater good?

  • Ignore this person
  • Neglect to wish them Happy Birthday when theirs comes
  • Voice your dismay to your friends and family, possibly creating conflict
  • Treat this person with resentment

Is it a pleasant feeling that you carry inside when you resent another?

How do you treat others when you have resentment inside you?

Do these actions serve you being your best self?

Do these actions serve others?

If you’re being truthful, the answer to all of those will be a resounding no.

No, believing this thought won’t serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you don’t believe this thought will serve you or the greater good?

  • Reach out to them from a place of concern to make sure they’re OK because it is unusual for them to not say Happy Birthday
  • Wait non-judgingly until the next day, maybe something happened, such as their phone or internet being cut off

Try it and let me know how it goes!

I would love to hear your experience with applying these 2 questions to your thoughts. Share your experience or ask any questions you may have in the comments below!

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

 

How To Quiet Your Mind Without Meditation or Techniques

How To Quiet Your Mind Without Meditation or Techniques

Although you arrived here wondering how to quiet your mind, I will talk less about the “how to” and direct you more toward that which you already know how to do. Don’t get me wrong, meditation and certain techniques are great, but what if you didn’t need a strategy every time you wanted to quiet your mind? What if all you need to know is how the mind really works?

Meditation Works But…

I meditate every morning for 15-20 minutes (30 minutes if you include Yoga), so I’m all for meditation as part of a daily routine. Meditation does help to quiet the mind, however, I don’t meditate with a goal to quiet the mind. I meditate to connect with my highest self, with the universe.

Meditating every morning over the past 18 months has taught me a lot about how the mind really works. One thing I learned is that I don’t want to have to meditate every time I want to quiet a noisy mind. If I’m driving and my mind won’t shut up, I don’t think to start a meditation, nor do I want to pull over to practice meditation in hopes of quieting my noisy mind.

All I want is to continue driving while enjoying a little more peace.

I’m sure you can also think of many situations where it is not conducive to initiate a meditation practice. You need something simpler and more practical.

What About NLP Techniques?

Similarly to meditation, NLP techniques can be effective for quieting the mind. NLP focuses heavily on manipulating the mind into receiving the desired result.

One of the techniques NLP teaches us to use is to treat our mind like a movie playing within a movie theatre. We can then manipulate the colours, maybe brighten or dim them, maybe change it to greyscale.

Then we have the sound of the movie. We can change the voices to sound like a munchkin, or maybe your favourite cartoon character. The characteristic of the movie that will be most appealing when trying to quiet your mind is the volume. We can increase the volume or decrease the volume.

It does work, but I find it only works for a very short period of time. Those booming thoughts want to be heard. So what happens, the volume seems to uncontrollably start ramping itself back up without our permission

You Already Know How To Quiet Your Mind

(you just didn’t think it could be this simple)

Have you ever been to a concert or a party and held a conversation with the person next to you, despite the booming base?

Have you ever been driving while completely tuning out the song on the radio in order to listen to the thoughts in your head?

Have you ever been driving while being completely immersed in thought only to hear your favourite song come on so you decide to tune out those thoughts and listen to your song?

Have you ever been hard at work while your co-worker is telling you a story you could give two shits about so you decide not to hear a word they say and focus on your work?

What were you able to do in each of those situations?

You were able to tune out what you didn’t want to listen to, what you didn’t want to pay attention to.

Imagine…

Imagine your mind as the booming base.

Imagine your mind as the song on the radio.

Imagine your mind as the words of your co-worker.

You don’t have to listen to your mind just because it’s your mind. If it has nothing appealing to say at the moment then tune it out, stop paying attention to it.

It’s only the thoughts we pay attention to that make noise.

Use your free will and choose the thoughts you actually want to pay attention to.

We’ve all been born with the innate ability to choose our thoughts. We don’t choose which thoughts pop into our head but we do get to choose which ones we pay attention to. Choose to give attention to the thoughts that serve you and practice tuning out the rest.

This is where meditation can become useful. Having a daily meditation practice can help you practice tuning out your thoughts.

You’ll Never Stop Thinking So Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

When many people are on the search for how to quiet their mind they seem to be searching for a remedy to stop thought completely. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, this will never happen.

Even the greatest Monks and Eastern spirituality Gurus will never stop their minds from thinking. What they are good at is tuning out their mind at will. Tuning out does have a settling effect in the mind so your thoughts will become clearer and more spacious.

The mind works like a radio that doesn’t have an off button, since you can’t turn it off you just have to learn to tune in when you want to listen and tune out when you don’t.

And remember, you know how to do it, don’t make it more complicated than it is.

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

 

The Simple Equation That Reveals Who You Really Are

The Simple Equation That Reveals Who You Really Are

This morning, I was meditating on a quote by Sydney Banks from his book The Missing Link, when all of a sudden this equation popped into my head. I didn’t ask for it, nor was I trying to generate any particular thoughts around the quote. I was just meditating to see what came up.

The equation that popped into my head is this:

However, most people live by this equation:

Understandably, the X will probably generate some curiosity.

What is the X?

What could it stand for?

For example, when I ask myself who I think I am, I receive answers like:

  • I’m a husband
  • I’m a son
  • I’m a brother
  • I’m a diversified coach
  • I’m honest
  • I’m Rob
  • I’m Love
  • I’m light
  • I’m inspired action

I’m all of those things and yet I am none of those things.

This is the paradox that gets a lot of people confused, probably even you right about now. This may get you wondering, how could he not be a husband, son, or brother when he is?

When I initially began exploring the true nature of who I am, I couldn’t fathom being none of those things. It just didn’t make any sense. But then it clicked…

  • I am a husband (to my wife)
  • I am a son (to my parents)
  • I am a brother (to my sisters)
  • I am a diversified coach (to my clients)
  • I am honest (to my thoughts)
  • I am Rob (to the rest of the world)
  • I am love (to my thoughts)
  • I am light (to my thoughts)
  • I am inspired action (to my thoughts)

I’m all of those things to life outside of myself, and yes that includes my own thoughts (since they aren’t me). They are just labels to identify with myself and others who I am in the world.

When you ask yourself who you are, what comes to mind?

Whatever happens to come to mind is a self-constructed you, created by thought. You are whoever you think you are. The more you try to think about who you are, the further away you get from yourself.

The real you cannot be explained or described by thought. You are what comes before thought. You are the space between thoughts.

Any time you attach a thought to your identity, you are attempting to describe the indescribable. You’re labelling the person you think you areIf we require thought to be described then we are not it.

You are a miracle and miracles are in-explainable by science or your thinking.

We attempt to solve life’s mysteries via our own thoughts, yet our thoughts are arbitrary and a mystery in and of themselves.

Thoughts are a guidance system for your life, they aren’t who you are.

You’re the one who is observing your thoughts.

You can let other people’s thoughts of you determine who you are. You can let your own thoughts of yourself determine who you are. Yet, neither is entirely true.

You’re the one who isn’t trying to think your way into being somebody.

You’re the one who isn’t trying to be anybody.

You are the one…

Why do you need to be anyone other than that?

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Follow Me So You Don't Miss More Great Content!