Learn to forgive through a deeper understanding of forgiveness and its’ relationship to freedom and love.
Forgiveness does not mean we agree with what we are forgiving. It means that we’re no longer going to allow our past to hold power over us via our thoughts. The biggest misconception and roadblock to freedom that I notice people tend to have when it comes to forgiveness is this: That to forgive is to let off the hook, to say that what you, or I did is OK. I used to believe this myself as well. This was until I understood that forgiveness has nothing to do with what I am forgiving and it has everything to do with expressing love for myself. Allowing my past to control me was severely blunting my potential as a human being. It was blocking my ability to express compassion and love fully. Truth be told, I wouldn’t be putting myself out there in front of thousand of eyeballs on Instagram right now if it wasn’t for forgiveness. I wouldn’t have felt that my words are worthy. Now that my past doesn’t control my sense of self-worth, I am being vulnerable and putting my mind out there. I freed myself up to seek a higher potential and new levels of consciousness. Practice forgiveness to not allow your past to hold power over your present and control your future. You are worthy of living your highest potential… You are worthy of freedom from your past… You are worthy of feeling love and expressing love… ALWAYS
Forgiveness isn’t about what or who we are forgiving.It’s all about us, we allow it for ourselves. It’sabout replacing our resentment and tensionfor another, or ourselves, with freedom,understanding, compassion, peaceand love within ourselves.
Forgiveness is an act of love toward ourselves and freedom from the unforgiven.
Forgiveness is a gift that allows us to live freely in an otherwise unfair and unjust world. If we hold resentments toward any action that we deem as unfair or unjust, we will continue to remain prisoners of our own minds. Our resentments hold us hostage and influence our every action the same way we would if we were held hostage at gunpoint by some lunatic criminal. This is not freedom my friends. Freedom is being able to make choices that aren’t influenced by resentments, but instead influenced by love.
Forgiveness allows us to see what our resentments were blinding us from. There’s five things our resentments blind us from: understanding, compassion, freedom, peace and love. The stronger our resentments are, the more difficulty we will have in understanding others or ourselves, and in expressing compassion and love toward others or ourselves. I liken holding resentments to a horse wearing blinders. When wearing them, their perception is limited to only what is right in front of them. They aren’t capable of seeing the vast world around them. They are missing out on the big picture and incapable of understanding what is beyond their blinders. To them, what they see is all there is but all there is isn’t what they see.
How do you know you have forgiven someone? You are no longer triggered by the mere thought of them. Instead, you feel a new found sense of understanding and underlying peace. I never understood this until I forgave my dad. I have a new understanding of how his history (childhood) influenced his self-concept, his morals, and his insecurities. I can now see how my history had influenced me up until my point of forgiveness as well, we are both human, we are one in the same. To take it one step further, I released my judgment toward him being wrong in the past because I now understand he was doing the best he could with the understanding he had, leaving me with nothing left to forgive. I am no longer triggered by the thought of him. In fact, I feel compassion and love when I think of him, which I never felt before my point of forgiveness.
I have a client who has been running for a seat at the table in his region for the better part of a year now.
The vote that would determine his fate passed recently, except, nobody got a chance to vote for him. He resigned from running on the morning of the big day.
His own party made a deal with fellow party members from other areas of the country, all behind his back. Supposedly, they had known about the deal months ago and didn’t say anything.
Suffice to say, he was devastated.
This experience did open other doors that would have been opened previously, and it was a great learning experience.
Here’s the 2 ideas we discussed during our conversation.
1. No matter the outcome, you will be OK
In other words, the outcome won’t change who you are beneath all of your thoughts. The essence of who you are will remain unchanged and intact.
This is great news. Why? Because knowing this can guide you toward releasing any attachment to the outcome. Having an understanding that
outcomes don’t define you, thoughts do
means that you can be whoever you want to be regardless of the outcome.
It also points out that
others aren’t defining you by your outcome either, they are defining you by their thoughts about who they judge you to be, based on their severely limited perception of who you are.
2. Trust the process instead of trying to force it
More times than not, the outcome doesn’t happen as we had planned it in our heads. However, we still seem to think that we can force the future to favour our hand.
This is when we find ourselves ruminating over the process, that our thinking will somehow force our desired outcome. This constant rumination creates stress and anxiety within us and leaves no room for your wisdom to come through into expression.
The moment we start trying to force the journey is the very same moment we stop enjoying it.
Part of trusting the process is accepting all that is out of our control. We don’t control what others may say about us or what they may do. Lest worry about that so you can channel that energy toward your own creations and tapping into your innate wisdom
Time spent thinking about what may happen, that is out of your control, is time that could have been spent on what you can control. This can also lead to you feeling like you’re losing control because you’ve taken your eye off the ball.
Ever wondered whether your actions are helping or enabling another?
My hope is that these insights will allow you to see with more clarity.
There is a fine line between helping and enabling. If your helping isn’t supporting their growth as a person, there’s a good chance you’re enabling a behaviour that hinders it.
Ask yourself: Am I not letting go of my behavior towards them because it makes me feel uncomfortable by doing so or because you think it might make them feel uncomfortable by doing so? If it’s because you are avoiding feeling uncomfortable, there’s a good chance you have made it about you instead of them. Be ready to do what is best for them, despite your discomfort.
Ask yourself: Am I attempting to fill up my cup or theirs? For example, one who doesn’t love them self is enabling the behaviour of another because they associate that behaviour with receiving love in return. Therefore, they feel loved at the expense of inhibiting the growth, learning, joy, health etc. of the person whose behaviour they’re enabling.
Ask yourself: Am I acting out of selfishness or selflessness? A selfless person will do what is best to nurture the other persons’ growth despite their own personal attachments. They will also see that what is best for the other person is also best for them. This is how selfless people are able to let people go that they love dearly, instead of holding on to them for personal gain.
Instead of constantly over-watering the flower out of fear that it’s not getting enough, try stepping back to watch the universe take care of it, witness the rain nurture its’ growth.
We also have a tendency to do this with humans as well, in the form of enabling or smothering. Fearing that without us they won’t grow or function optimally.
Sometimes, others truly do need our help, and at other times we need to trust that their innate wisdom will guide them to flourish and grow, safely.
*disclaimer: I am leaving my opinion on Trump and the wall out of this. The last thing I want is a political tirade. This is not an attack, just a pawn for an InSight.*
I was driving the other day while listening to the audiobook version of Conversations With God (some may wonder why I would listen to such a thing since I’m not religious, because there is a lot of wisdom embedded within religions that can be extracted from the surrounding beliefs).
Unity vs Division
Anyways, the topic of unity vs division sparked my curiosity. When I think of division within humanity, the first thing that always comes to mind is the wall that Trump was pushing to build.
So, the audiobook faded into the background and I started wondering how that same $1 billion dollars could be used toward unification of humanity.
Unification being, treating humanity as a whole, that we’re all each others people, oppose to my people or your people.
Division being, segmenting humanity into parts and hierarchies, typically our people and your people or their people.
Many will see building the wall as the unification of a nation, which in a sense can be true. It can also be seen as a strong stance toward the dividing of nations, a step closer toward dividing the whole into more defined parts.
I understand there are many examples that could be used around the world to express division vs unity. Having separate governments being one huge act of division. While unification would be to establish one world government.
I chose this example because it stands out like a sore thumb and nearly every human being on earth can relate to it.
How many mouths could be fed
What came to mind was the wonder of how many starving mouths 1 billion dollars could feed in a 3rd world country. As you have probably already seen by the image before the post, the answer is an astonishing 23 million starving school children in Africa.
What I found even more astonishing
During my research, I stumbled upon a GoFundMe campaign for the Trump wall. I’m not sure how publicized this was, so if this is old news I apologize 🙂 ( I told you I don’t follow politics).
At first, I thought it was a hoax. However, to my amazement, it is a legitimate campaign. As of writing this, American citizens have raised $20,689,603 in nearly 3 months.
That’s $20 million dollars that could have gone to charity to help those in need.
I understand the philosophy behind the wall, take care of your own first. This is primitive conditioning that can be witnessed in the many T.V series that are set centuries ago (two very popular ones being Game of Thrones and Vikings) , reinforcing how little progress we have made toward unification.
What if we didn’t separate people into “ours” or “yours”? These are statements of ownership that create separateness and possessiveness when what the world really needs is oneness and solidarity, to stand together as one instead of apart as many.
Sure, it may sound far fetched, but that’s because the larger collective does not view humanity in this manner.
A shift in consciousness is needed and is coming, where talks of walls will be replaced with talks of shared interests and mutual love.
One of the most common concepts I have come across on my journey is the concept of healing our past.
I have had many insights about this lately and feel I’ve been drawn toward exploring it further.
After doing so,
here are the insights that arose:
Feeling wounded by our past is not the same as feeling pain when thinking about our past. Feeling wounded has a sense of permanence, suffering, and lack of control, whereas feeling pained has a sense of transience and OKness, a knowingness that we’re ebbing and flowing with the natural rollercoaster of lifes’ emotions.
Trying to heal wounds from our past is like getting wounded in a bad dream, then going to the hospital when we awaken in an attempt to heal them, only to realize that there are no wounds, our waking up disappeared them.
Feeling pain when thinking about a past experience is a fundamental part of our true nature. It doesn’t mean our past is wounded or we’re damaged goods, it just means we’re paying attention to painful thoughts, and letting the pain convince us otherwise is what truly haunts us, not the past itself.
The concept of healing our past insinuates that we are walking wounded. Yet, wounds only exist in the world of form. a cut to our body, a broken bone, whereas our past is non-existent and formless in nature, only brought to life by the formless, our thoughts. If thought cannot be wounded, neither can our past.
To put more simply, there seems to be no such thing as healing a wounded past, as the past only exists in the form of thought.
But if we cannot be wounded by our past, how come we feel pained by it? We are not pained by our past, we are pained by the thoughts about our past. This may come in the form of reliving our past or judging our past.
All pain that appears to come from our past is actually coming from present moment thoughts. These thoughts create emotions that we link to our past as if our past has caused these emotions.
Understanding that we aren’t wounded or broken has the ability to freeing all on its’ own. This allows us to see that there is nothing to heal, nothing has been taken from us, we’ve always been whole and always will be whole.
When we stop feeling wounded by our past, it’s not because we healed it, as there was nothing to heal, it’s because we transcended it, transforming our perception.
The illusion of the past survives through the now. It remains an illusion because the now is all there ever is, and the present moment never needs healing, and neither do illusions.
The past is a fictitious story that is illuminated by our thoughts, emotions and senses, leading us to believe that this story lives now, and that the character in this story needs healing now.
Even if we are tempted to argue against this, does it really serve us to think that we’re wounded or broken? Would it serve us better to believe that we’re whole, unwounded, and unbroken?
You are not wounded
You are not broken
You don’t need healing
You don’t need fixing
You are worthy
You are whole
You are loved
Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.
When it comes time to make an important decision, a potentially life altering, game-breaking decision, how are we to know what to do?
Some would say use logic
Some would say use ration
Some would say listen to your emotions (maybe?)
Some would say follow your gut
Some would say call a friend
What many don’t say is…
What to consider when using logic
Logic relies solely on the past. All of its’ reasoning and facts are based upon what lay behind us, not ahead of us. This can surely have some merit, however, facts change, science evolves, and this must be taken into consideration. The past does not equal the future.
There’s a good chance we’re making a decision based on logic when we base our decision primarily around fact and evidence. Therefore, leading us to create a specified sequence that will get us from here to our destination in order to justify our upcoming decision.
Logic has its’ place assisting in the decision making process, but I would argue that it shouldn’t be a crutch.
But above all, logic is really shitty at going beyond the material world of things and involves zero insights gathered from our infinite wisdom.
Use logic wisely.
What to consider when using ration
Like logic, ration also relies on a past to predict the future. In comparison, ration will be based more on concepts of reasoning oppose to evidence or facts.
Sounds ideal right? Well yes, except….
Ration doesn’t take our emotions into consideration. And yes, our emotions are very real to us. They can tell us a lot, or they can tell us very little, if we’re in tune with them.
Making a rational decision that eventually leads to resentment probably wasn’t the wisest decision at the time. Could it have been avoided? Surely.
And similar to logic, ration is based on conceptualizations on the material world.
Use ration wisely.
What to consider when using your gut
The largest issue with this in my experience is that most people don’t even know what the heck it means to follow their gut.
What does that even feel like?
Butterflies in the tummy?
If so, what does that even mean?
I know most use this figure of speech in a way that refers to our inner knowingness, our internal compass,
In my experience, this is just bad terminology that people could intellectualize into numerous different ways.
Many people I talk to aren’t familiar with what a gut feeling in relation to our inner knowing vs our emotions fluttering in their belly.
If you are familiar with how to separate the two then definitely take your gut feeling into consideration. Our gut can tell us things that have yet formulate in the material world, it hasn’t been proven, we cannot see it, but we just know.
What to consider when listening to your emotions
They are very inaccurate. All our emotions do is give us an accurate indication of our thinking in the moment. Our thoughts could be logical, illogical, rational, or irrational, our emotions do not care.
They are just reflecting back to us what is going on upstairs, nothing more.
Making a decision based on emotion is like trying to find a treasure after buying a compass that states on the package “all directions could be True North”.
It’s the blind leading the blind.
What to consider when calling a friend
At first, I put this one down as a joke and was going to treat it as such. Then, a thought came to mind, calling a friend can actually be quite useful.
What a friend can offer us when we’re consumed by endless choices and one decision to make is… perspective. A single shift in perspective can lead to an insight that changes the entire landscape for us.
Choose this person wisely, use their vision not their opinion.
Tapping into our infinite wisdom
Each and every one of us has an endless well of wisdom waiting to be tapped into. When it comes to making life changing decisions, this would be a great time to drop a bucket into the well and see what wisdom may come out.
Our wisdom doesn’t rely on logic, ration, emotions, our friend. While our wisdom doesn’t rely on any of these, it can tell us how to use them wisely.
Our wisdom does have some relation to a gut feeling, otherwise known as our inner knowing. This is a knowing that cannot be explained in the world of form, there’s no evidence to prove it, it may even seem irrational to some, and maybe even ourselves at first.
Our wisdom will distinguish the gut feeling of inner knowing vs anxiety.
At this point, you’re probably wondering how to tap into your infinite wisdom…
Instead of looking into the direction of what you already know (logic, ration), look toward the unknown. Sit quietly with your thoughts, direct your attention toward what you do not yet know. Or, maybe you do know but have yet to acknowledge it due to being so focused on the variables of the known.
Connect with the space between your thoughts, as out of this space of nothing, arises everything.
Be patient, an inner knowing will surely come to you. An answer will come, that can be assured, but it won’t be on your timeline. The more you try to force an answer the further from it you will become.
Sit back and listen for the whispers of your wisdom, allow it to be heard.
And learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.