Ask Yourself This To See If You’re Truly Happy

Ask Yourself This To See If You’re Truly Happy

If your most cherished material possessions were taken away from you, would you still be truly and infinitely happy?

This question humbles me personally, it reminds me that I have yet to own my happiness regardless of what is happening in the outside world and that I’m an infinite student of living from the inside-out.

It’s hard to fathom a world without our most cherished material possessions. I have a difficult time imagining my life without them. Would I still be happy? At first, I don’t think I would. I do have full confidence that I would find inner happiness though.

What I like about this question is how it directs us inward for happiness. To look in the opposite direction of the material world that we have become so reliant upon for chasing our happiness. Gaining happiness from material things is always temporary, keeping us on the search either until we die or until we wake up.

Instead of trying to learn how to be happy, try unlearning your current formula for happiness and you will discover true happiness. Happiness isn’t acquired through the sum of some formula, happiness is acquired through the realization that we have all we need at this moment and not a drop less.

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

Ever Seen Your Problems As A Mack Truck Coming At You? Read This

Ever Seen Your Problems As A Mack Truck Coming At You? Read This

During a recent conversation with a client, they metaphorically told me they saw their most recent struggles as a mack truck coming at them. That’s some pretty serious shit. It’s no wonder they’ve been making poor decisions out of panic, they see a Mack Truck coming at them, leaving them one of two choices…live or die!

This thought will immediately initiate our fight or flight signals in the brain, telling our bodies to pump out adrenaline like it’s their only job. Seemingly presenting two panic-filled choices, stand in the way and get killed or jump out of the way and live to see another day.

What if there is a third option?

Here is the metaphor I then presented to them. (and yes, I made it up on the spot)

Imagine this…

You are standing in the middle of a long deserted road, in the middle of nowhere. No humanity in sight. Just you and the long empty road ahead.

All of a sudden, appearing right in front of you out of nowhere, you see this giant Mack Truck coming straight at you. At this point, you may as well be wearing horse guides since you don’t acknowledge anything to the left or right of you.

You are now completely blinded by the sight of this Mack Truck coming straight at you, unable to see past it. You are also oblivious to what is behind it.

You’re looking straight into the headlights of this giant Mack Truck. You notice the truck is carrying very familiar cargo. The cargo looks something like this:

  • A to-do list longer than your Christmas list when you were a kid
  • Tax deadlines
  • Bill deadlines
  • School deadlines
  • Paperwork for an upcoming job
  • Tasks you procrastinated for weeks and months
  • Grieving a loss
  • Haunting thoughts about the past
  • Crippling thoughts about the future
  • Anything else you may see as a problem leading to your stress

Now, it appears you have two choices right?

Move out of the way immediately. This represents you dropping nearly all other priorities in life such as sleep, working out, good nutrition, health, family, ME time, and any other aspects of your life that are highly valuable, in order to eliminate these problems.

Leading you to wonder…“how do I complete all these tasks so I can stop seeing this Mack Truck coming at me?”

Or…

You don’t move out of the way and get hit by the Mack Truck (not fun I imagine).

What if…

You wake up and realize that there is no Mack Truck?

That is was all in your head?

That you made the whole thing up?

And when you do wake up to realize this, you notice there is the most beautiful horizon that was hidden beyond the sight of the Mack Truck the entire time. This horizon represents the ultimate beauty of life that is available to see any time you want.

Just in front of the horizon, you notice the road splits into 10 different paths you could take. Each path presenting a different option for you, now giving you 10 choices instead of the 2 that you had when the Mack Truck was in front of you.

Leading you to now wonder…“how can I maintain sight of the beauty of life while completing these tasks?”

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

Absurd Ironies We Live By

Absurd Ironies We Live By

Our lives are chock-full of illogical idiosyncrasies. Most of us lead lives of confusion and complexity mainly because we over-complicate the simple, and reverse the straightforward.

Here are some absurd ironies we all live by or have lived by at one time or another. Feel free to add your own to the list in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you can come up with 🙂

Enjoy!

Absurd Ironies We Live By:

We fear death yet don’t live like we’re going to die

We mourn death yet don’t celebrate life while it’s happening

We live in the past and wonder why we’re depressed

We live in the future and wonder why we’re anxious

We’re brave to hold up a mirror for others yet fear to look in our own

We spend 1/3 of our day at a job we don’t like and wonder why we aren’t happy

We try to avoid feeling certain emotions and wonder why we feel numb

We neglect to give ourselves love and wonder why we feel nobody loves us

We don’t take care of our bodies and wonder why our bodies break down

We retire from a job we never loved only to realize we wouldn’t have retired if we loved our job

We wait for others to make the first move yet it everyone thought like that there would be nothing to wait for

We believe in Karma yet live like we’re immune to it

We believe in material things yet don’t believe in ourselves

We constantly look for shortcuts and then wonder where the beauty in the journey is

We think we’re separate yet all of our hearts are told to beat by one

We search for our answers outside of us yet we have an infinite well of wisdom within us

We’re quick to judge others yet seldom look in the mirror

We’re always focused on what to do and then wonder why we aren’t who we want to be

We feed ourselves with man-made food and wonder why we have so many man-made diseases

We degrade our health to make money then spend that money on our degrading health

We trust the egos of other people yet don’t trust our own intuition

We hold grudges thinking we’re handing off our pain to the other person yet we’re the only one feeling the pain

We have most of our conversations through messaging and wonder why we don’t feel connected

We’re in a rush to get everywhere and wonder why we feel like we’ve gotten nowhere

 

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

How do you currently view your home? What does your home represent to you? A sanctuary? A war zone? A workplace?  A retreat? A warm welcome? A stress inducer? Would you like to change how you view your home?

We need to be very, very careful with what we bring into our homes, mentally and physically. These two factors will determine what your home represents to you.

Bringing Emotions Home

Maybe you had it out with your boss or co-worker Maybe you had your vacation denied or were told you “had” to work this coming weekend. Maybe you got into a fight with your spouse. Whatever the reason is, for your own sake and the sake of anyone you live with, don’t bring those emotions from those events into your home if at all possible.

Unless you’re one of the few people who has a room in their home dedicated to meditation, thought processing, or some form of mental or spiritual retreat, find time and space outside of your home to be with your thoughts and emotions. (If you don’t currently have a designated space in your home for this then it would be a great idea to see where you can implement one.)

Our homes are littered with distractions, kids, spouses, television, smartphones, iPads/Tablets, computers/laptops etc. All of them are a one-way ticket to the hazardous destination that arrives when we ignore our emotions.

This is when we lash out at our kids, pets, spouses, or anyone else who happens to be standing in front of us. So help them as they reap the wrath of our emotions.

Before long, we no longer look forward to coming home. We blame our kids and/or spouses for what we don’t want to come home to, yet take no responsibility for the distorted vision we bring home.

What tends to work for many people is spending whatever time they need (5-10min) in their cars to sit with their emotions, without distraction. Once you feel them, they will pass. This allows you to become more conscious of the thoughts and emotions you are bringing into your home.

You may do this by taking a longer, more scenic route home, or sitting in a parking lot somewhere.

For more insight on making this time effective I recommend you read my post of How To Quiet Your Mind With Meditation or Techniques after you read this one. You can then apply what you learn there to your quiet time.

Physically Bringing Work Home

With people working more and more hours, it is not uncommon for work to be brought home. Most people anxiously await the first opportunity to bring work home just to get out of the office. However, this can be a really, really bad idea. Let me explain why.

The more we perform a certain action within a specific environment, the more we associate our environment with that action. If that action is one you would not like to associate with your home, DO NOT bring it home.

If the environment that you normally perform that action within is not the desired environmental representation you want of your home then do not bring that action home.

For most people, the action is work-related and the undesired environment is work-related. Voila, you now view your home as a workplace or an office.

Working From Home

If your job allows you to work remotely from home for any amount of time, or you work from home full time, it is in your best interest to ensure you have a designated room for your office.

To avoid viewing the rest of your home outside of your office as a work environment (and any emotions associated with work) keep your work inside the office. Do not make exceptions to this rule by sometimes sitting down at the breakfast bar with your laptop and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

Before long you will look at your breakfast bar as a place of work rather than a potential place of peace with a cup of coffee, to reflect on yesterday’s wins and learning experiences.

Change Your View And What You See Changes

Your home is whatever you want it to be. After all, fundamentally it’s just a bunch of bricks mended together on top of a framework that gives us a sturdy foundation, electricity, and running water.

Any meaning that is given to your home beyond the materials it is made of is solely created by you. Even the purpose of your home is thought created, by you.

Change your view of your home and what you see of your home will change.

If you want your home to be a safe resting place, start creating that.

If you want your home to be full of love and peace, start creating that.

If you want your home to be a retreat from work, start creating that.

Whatever you want your home to represent to you, start creating it.

If you’re struggling with ideas on how to recreate your home environment then please share your story in the comment section and let’s come up with some ideas on how to make that happen for you.

Treat your home how you want to see your home

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

2 Shockingly Simple Questions That Will Help You Make Better Decisions

2 Shockingly Simple Questions That Will Help You Make Better Decisions

How would you like to be able to make better decisions just by asking yourself 2 shockingly simple questions? These 2 questions will have the power to rock your beliefs, shift your perspective immediately, and create clarity before you make a decision that could lead to a costly mistake.

Don’t let their simplicity fool you, make sure you read the backstory to each question to understand why they are so powerful and how to use them effectively.

Undesired Feelings Lead to Undesired Actions

I use these 2 questions on a daily basis any time I have a thought in my head that is creating undesired feelings or I want more clarity with my thoughts. Being aware that our actions are largely driven by emotion, I ask these 2 questions to ensure I don’t make decisions that I might later regret.

You can ask the 2 questions any time, but where they really shine is when you’re experiencing dilemma or undesired emotions. They will provide you with a source of emotional intelligence that has been previously untapped.

Objective: Separate Thought from Reality

Reality is defined as what actually happened or is happening without our thoughts attached to it.

Thought is defined as the meaning we give or the opinion we have on what has happened or is happening.

When you’re truly able to see that your entire experience of life is based on a thought created reality, and not reality itself, you will experience true freedom.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Question #1: Is it really true?

I first came across this question through the work of Byron Katie, in her life-changing books of profound simplicity. The 2 books of hers that I read are A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart and Turn Your World Around and Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.

What I love about this question is how it helps us separate our thoughts from reality. Or in more general terms, see through our made up bull shit.

Example

Say someone you love in your life didn’t wish you Happy Birthday on the day of your Birthday, what does this mean? You may have thoughts such as “they don’t love me” “I’m obviously not important to them” etc.

Now you can ask this question to separate reality from your thoughts.

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Is it really true? No (it’s your opinion, and an opinion you don’t have to believe)

The reality – They didn’t say Happy Birthday. (that’s it, nothing more, any additions to this reality are thought created illusions)

Initially, you will notice A LOT of resistance toward letting go of the thought that is purely opinion based and separate from reality. This is normal. Merely asking the question “is it really true?” will plant a seed of doubt on its’ own.

After asking this question, if you sit with the thought long enough, you will start to notice that the chokehold it has on you will start to loosen and you will notice fresh new thoughts starting to breathe through.

This is all you need, a crack in the foundation, the next question will crumble it.

Question #2: Does/Will believing this thought serve the greater good?

You must first understand that the answer to this question must come from you, not your ego. Your ego will want to preserve itself as all it cares about is itself, nobody else. If the thought in your head only serves you and nobody else then you can bet it is ego based.

Using the example from above:

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Does/Will it serve the greater good?

Let’s look at both sides

Yes, believing this thought will serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you believe this thought will serve the greater good?

  • Ignore this person
  • Neglect to wish them Happy Birthday when theirs comes
  • Voice your dismay to your friends and family, possibly creating conflict
  • Treat this person with resentment

Is it a pleasant feeling that you carry inside when you resent another?

How do you treat others when you have resentment inside you?

Do these actions serve you being your best self?

Do these actions serve others?

If you’re being truthful, the answer to all of those will be a resounding no.

No, believing this thought won’t serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you don’t believe this thought will serve you or the greater good?

  • Reach out to them from a place of concern to make sure they’re OK because it is unusual for them to not say Happy Birthday
  • Wait non-judgingly until the next day, maybe something happened, such as their phone or internet being cut off

Try it and let me know how it goes!

I would love to hear your experience with applying these 2 questions to your thoughts. Share your experience or ask any questions you may have in the comments below!

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

Effort vs Result – The Difference And Why It Matters

Effort vs Result – The Difference And Why It Matters

Despite Best Efforts, Shitty Efforts Get Rewarded

I‘ve witnessed many times the kid who clearly gave a phenomenal effort during a hockey game, only to have their efforts overshadowed by the kid who scored the winning goal yet put forth a petty effort for the entire game. The kid who put forth the shitty effort got all the praise just because they got the result, despite their shitty effort.

How many times have we all put forth petty efforts into our homework because our parents wouldn’t let us do what we wanted to do until it was done? What does this teach us? Get the result regardless of your effort and you will be rewarded.

Now, what happens when we carry this conditioning into our adulthood? We attempt to cut corners, now believing that it’s the results that matter, not so much the efforts.

Why Even Try?

This leads many of us, including myself at one time, to ask “why bother even trying?”.

Since effort doesn’t get rewarded and is largely overlooked, why not find a way to cut corners, to cheat, to do things the easy way, to avoid the path that may require effort.

Not Trying vs The Path Of Least Resistance

I do feel the need to distinguish the difference between not trying and searching for the path of least resistance.

Not trying is putting forth an effort that doesn’t go beyond going through the motions, that doesn’t go beyond cruise control, that doesn’t go beyond just showing up.

The path of least resistance can have different meanings to different people. To me, the path of least resistance is the path in which we have not created resistance. The resistance we create through fear, doubt, shame, lack of meaning, lack of love etc.

The path of least resistance doesn’t automatically encompass lack of effort, it encompasses the path where effort can be maximized.

The Effort Is The Journey

After many discussions with people, the journey tends to get overshadowed by the end game, the final result.

What is the fastest way to get there while putting in the least amount of effort?

The end result is reached and yet something still feels like it’s missing. There seems to be a lack of fulfillment. This is because

life is a journey, not an end game.

When you attempt to skip the journey and all its’ illustrious overcomings and resilience, you are skipping out on all that life has to offer. As long as you try and do this, you will never feel fulfillment when you reach your destination.

Results brought on without effort or challenge are unfulfilling.

 

This Is Why 70% Of Lottery Winners Struggle

According to the National Endowment for Financial Education, 70% of major lottery winners end up in financial difficulty. It is also reported that 1/3 of lottery winners go bankrupt.

There are reports on what these people do with their money to end up in such financial hardship, but what doesn’t get discussed much is the underlying reasons why these people can’t seem to keep the money they won.

I propose that the number one reason 70% of major lottery winners end up in a financial struggle is that they feel they didn’t earn it. They didn’t put in the blood, sweat and tears. They didn’t create the result through a journey of overcoming challenges and massively rewarding efforts.

They essentially got something for nothing.

This is what happens when the journey is overlooked or skipped altogether. The result becomes an unrewarding focal point that leads one to ask themselves why they still feel so empty inside.

The Result Of Inner World Matching Outer World

When we are on the receiving end of a result we feel we did not earn, we will squander away the result any way we can in order to have our outer world matching our inner world.

Since we feel we did not earn the result, we must eliminate the result or discredit the result through means such as self-sabotage.

If we do not feel fulfillment inside of us, we feel somewhat empty, something is missing. When we feel empty inside we will create a world outside of us that is also empty. Hence why 70% of major lottery winners run into financial hardship.

When we cheat, cut corners, lie, and look for the easy way out, we lack fulfillment and a sense of earning it. As long as we continue to do this we will feel unfulfilled and/or undeserving.

Embrace The Journey

Hopefully, I have you somewhat convinced by now that the journey is just as important, if not more important, than the result.

Embrace your challenges. Embrace your fears, Embrace your growth. Embrace your sense of fulfillment.

Life is the journey, not the result, embrace it or you will miss out on it.

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

life coach toronto

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

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