The One And ONLY Cause of Stress – Can You Guess What It Is?

The One And ONLY Cause of Stress – Can You Guess What It Is?

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

The One And ONLY Cause of Stress – Can You Guess What It Is?

WebMD and many other “authorities” are pointing many people searching for the cause of their stress in the completely wrong direction. It’s time to get this one right.

Unfortunately, WebMD has two of the most popular articles on the causes of emotional and psychological stress and they are offering some of the worst information, how ironic right?

Article 1 and Article 2 are blaming nearly everything outside of you, essentially claiming you are a victim of circumstance most of the time. No wonder so many people are stressed, with thoughts like that you are doomed to live a life of chronic emotional and psychological stress.

I guess I should give them credit for their feeble attempt at sourcing the only cause of stress when they said this “Sometimes the stress comes from inside, rather than outside.”.

What Does WebMD Claim To Cause All Of Our Emotional and Psychological Stress?

To bring you closer to the truth of the one and only cause of stress I will bring truth each and every so-called stressor that is listed in both of WebMD’s articles.

As you read on you may resonate with some of the so-called stressors and I want you to know that by no means am I minimizing the challenge of each situation.

I have experienced several of these stressful situations myself, the difference is that I now experience them much differently, and you can too once you understand the one and only cause of your stress.

 

Your health

Example:  Diabetes

The lie: Diabetes is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you having diabetes are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I cannot eat my favourite foods as often as I want now”

“I have no more freedom with food”

“My chances of dying at an earlier age have now increased”

Your relationships

Example:  Feeling lack of friendships or support

The lie: The feeling of this lack is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that lead to this feeling of lack are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“My friends should call me more often”

“I am the one putting in all the work”

“Now is when I need people the most and they aren’t there”

 

Major life changes

Example:  Losing your job

The lie: The loss of your job is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you losing your job are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“How am I going to pay the bills?”

“I can’t believe they fired me instead of that low life”

“See, I’m not good enough for this, this proves it”

 

Stress in your family

Example:  Being a caregiver (which I currently am)

The lie: Being a caregiver is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being a caregiver are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I don’t want to lose this person”

“Taking care of this person is such a burden on my life”

“They don’t appreciate what I do for them”

 

Conflicts with your beliefs and values

Example:  You value spending time with your family but don’t spend as much time with them as you would prefer

The lie: Not spending enough time with your family is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on not spending enough time with your family are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I should be spending more time with my family”

“If I stop working overtime then I won’t be able to pay the bills, and then we will lose the house, and then my spouse will divorce me, and then I won’t see my kids as often….AHHHHH”

“I am missing my kids growing up by not being there”

 

Your surroundings

Example: You live in a crowded city

The lie: The crowded city is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you living in a crowded city are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I can’t stand being able to walk to the store while being elbowed 20 times”

“The traffic in this city makes my blood boil”

“I feel like I have no privacy around here”

 

Your shitty job

Example:  Being unhappy with your job

The lie: Your shitty job is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on how shitty your job is are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I hate my boss he’s an asshole”

“Everyone at work is so pretentious”

“I cannot believe they haven’t promoted me yet”

 

Public Speaking

Example:  Having to give speeches in front of colleagues

The lie: Giving speeches in front of your colleagues is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on giving speeches in front of your colleagues are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“What if they don’t like my speech?”

“Now everyone sees how much of a failure I am”

“This will tarnish my flawless reputation if I screw up”

 

The death of a loved one

Example:  You lost your spouse

The lie: The loss of your spouse is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on losing your spouse are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“Why them? They didn’t deserve it”

“My life is not worth living anymore”

“I can never move on from this”

 

Relationship problems

Example:  Your spouse cheated on you

The lie: Your spouse cheating on you is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on your cheating spouse are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I hope they burn in hell after what they did to me”

“I’m not worthy enough for someone to stay loyal to me”

“This relationship was a lie the whole time”

 

Increase in financial obligations

Example:  Extra medical expenses

The lie: The extra medical expenses are the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on the extra medical expenses are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I cannot believe these expenses are not covered by the damn health care system or insurance, bunch of frauds they are”

“I can’t afford this”

“These drugs are way overpriced, what a ripoff”

 

Getting married

Example:  Planning the wedding

The lie: Planning the wedding is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on planning your wedding are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“There are so many things to do and not enough time”

“I feel like I am doing all of the work (even though I don’t trust anyone else to get it done)”

“I look horrible, these pictures are going to be an eyesore”

 

Moving to a new home

Example:  Prepping your house for sale

The lie: Prepping your house for sale is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on prepping your house for sale are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This house is a pig sty”

“Nobody cares about this damn house but me”

“The house isn’t going to be ready on time”

 

Chronic illness or injury

Example:  Being diagnosed with cancer

The lie: Being diagnosed with cancer is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being diagnosed with cancer are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“Why me?”

“I’m going to die sooner than I want”

“My life is over”

 

Emotional problems

Example:  Being diagnosed with depression

The lie: Being diagnosed with depression is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being diagnosed with depression are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This now confirms I am depressed”

“I guess this is the way it is, I am just a depressed person and there is nothing I can do about it”

“I am out of control”

 

Traumatic events

Example:  Having been abused

The lie: Having been abused is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on having been abused are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“How could anyone else ever love me?”

“I should have been braver and said something earlier”

“I am such a weak person”

 

Attitudes and perceptions.

Example:  Your view of the world

The lie: Your view of the world is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that create your view of the world are the cause of your stress. T

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This world is a tough place to live “

“There should only be peace in this world”

“You cannot trust anybody in this world”

 

Expectations

Example:  Having unrealistic expectations

The lie: Having unrealistic expectations is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that create your unrealistic expectations are the cause of your stress

Stressful thoughts such as:

“They should know how to do that by now”

“I shouldn’t have to ask twice”

“If I did that for them then they should do this for me”

 

Have you figured out now what is the ONLY cause of stress?

If you guessed your thoughts you would be wrong. At this point, I can only assume you are extremely confused and I am loving the suspense.

 

If it is not thoughts that are the only cause of stress then what is it?

OK, OK….are you ready for it?

Are you sure?

It is the thoughts that you believe that are the only cause of your stress!

I would like to say this again as I cannot stress the importance of truly grasping what I am saying.

It is the thoughts that you believe that are the only cause of your stress!

If you don’t believe me, re-read all of the examples from above, but this time read them without believing a single thought from the examples. In fact, how do you imagine you would feel if you believed the opposite of each of those thoughts?

I would like to now review a statement from WebMD that I mentioned in the beginning of the article that says “Sometimes the stress comes from inside, rather than outside.”.

The truth is that “Stress ALWAYS comes from the inside, rather than outside.”

We all have similar thoughts but we all believe different things, how?

How can two people respond differently to the very same situation even if they have the very same thoughts? They each believe different thoughts.

Once you start believing a thought you now give that thought more attention. This attention will lead to a feeling and this feeling will lead to a response. Therefore, different thoughts believed different responses.

Wrapping Up

I sincerely hope that finding out the one and only true cause of your emotional and psychological stress has been an uplifting and liberating experience for you. Believe me, this is one understanding that can truly change your life forever.

I encourage you to take control of the one cause of your stress by only believing in the thoughts that serve you.

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

 

 

 

How To Reduce Stress Levels Instantly

How To Reduce Stress Levels Instantly

Once we wake up to realize that we’re all master storytellers, we see the thoughts in our head, we see the pen in our hand, we see beyond the story.

How To Reduce Stress Levels Instantly

Stress is the #1 cause of disease and an epidemic in its’ own right. Money (and anything related to this currency) and time (not enough) are probably the 2 largest contributors towards influencing people’s perceived stress levels today.

Stress is also the #1 contributor to today’s astronomically high divorce rate. You can argue that money is the #1 contributor, and that wouldn’t be false. What is the by-product of the negative connotation that money brings in this relationship that it destroys? STRESS!

Before you continue reading I want you to understand that the information I will be provided in this article is NOT a long-term solution for solving your stress “problem”. I will be providing ways to achieve immediate relief from your perceived stressors, which if implemented consistently, in the long run, can play a major role in the long-term solution.

You Must Understand This First…

You create your own stress!

 

2 Effective Ways To Obliterate Stress Instantly

I will be touching on 2 effective ways to completely obliterate your stress on the spot. I can attest to their effectiveness and each strategy is nothing short of life-changing I can assure you. Neither is easy to do and must be practiced daily on even the most minute stressors.

These 2 ways are:

  1. Changing your perception/Reframing
  2. Mindfulness

These are definitely not the only 2 ways to reduce stress levels immediately, they are the only 2 I will be touching on in this article. I chose these 2 strategies based on personal experience, as I have used them on myself and others with outstanding results.

How To Reduce Stress By Changing Your Perception

I know, you might be thinking…

“NO F*cking way, this happened to me, that happened to me, this person did this to me, that person said that to me, THESE ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE CAUSING MY STRESS NOT ME!”

I hate to break it to ya, it is not the circumstances of your life that cause your stress, it is your perception of those circumstances that cause your stress. Within that perception, you developed the meaning you have given to each circumstance.

So long as you remain a victim of circumstance, you will be a prisoner of your own  mind

 

Example:

(In this example I will use one of my clients. For sake of privacy I will name the lady June and leave the event nameless)

June and her husband created a special event to gather more awareness to a specific topic. The purpose of this event was not to make money, and solely for awareness. The couple had worked tirelessly on creating this special event, putting in countless hours, and funded it with their own money.

The couple had just hosted their 2nd annual event. The turnout was good considering the poor weather, as the event was hosted outdoors. During the event, one of their trusted board members approached them with some sour news. This board member informed them that another board member is conspiring against them.

The plan was to hijack the event, and ultimately steal the rights to it. There was much effort put into the hijacking and was planned months prior. Without the act of the one board member who fed June this information, the hijacking probably would have been a success.

June and her husband are now in an on-going legal battle with the hijacker,  in order to ensure rights to the event they had created from scratch.

Junes’ perception of the event: It was a personal attack

June took the attempted hijacking as a personal attack against her, as a person.

Can you imagine how much stress that would inflict on you to take the majority of your unfortunate circumstances personally? To make the entire situation about YOU?

How a shift in perception brought June immediate stress relief

June’s New Perception: The attempted hijacking is actually a compliment

How is that horrible action a compliment you may ask? June created such a phenomenal event that someone actually put their reputation on the line in an attempt to steal it from her. People don’t do that unless what they are going after is worth their own reputation.

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it

– Anthony Robbins

How the power of questions changed June’s perception:

Question: “Why would anyone ever want to steal an event from someone?”

Answer: “Because they want to own it for themselves”

 

Question: “And why would they want to own the event for themselves?”

Answer: “Because they see potential in it, they see value in it, maybe they envy it because they don’t believe they can create such a phenomenal event, and need to steal it from someone else, maybe they saw all the hard work has been done and want to now ride the wave of success?”

 

Question: “Why would someone put their entire reputation on the line in an attempt to steal something that is not theirs?”

Answer: “Because they see enormous value in it”

 

Question: “Who created this enormous value from scratch?”

Answer: “June did. Congratulations to June, as she just created an event so phenomenal that someone was willing to put their entire reputation on the line for it. Trying to hijack it was their way of complimenting you on creating such enormous value.”

 

2 Questions you can ask yourself to get curious:

  1. What else could this mean?
  2. If I had to find something positive about this what would it be?

Practice Reframing By Using Past Unwanted Circumstances

Get a piece of paper and write down this exercise:

  1. Choose a situation from your past that still brings unwanted emotions when you think about it
  2. Ask yourself the 2 questions above to get yourself curious
  3. Write down all answers you can come up with, the more answers the better

Practice this with as many unwanted experiences from your past as you can. The more you practice, the more you train your new thought patterns, and you end up breaking your old thought patterns that have created much of your unwanted stress in the past.

How To Reduce Stress With Mindfulness

For those who are unaware, mindfulness means being fully immersed in the present moment. Your mind is not anywhere else except being aware of the very moment you are in at any given time. Mindfulness provides immediate stress relief due to the simplicity of being in the present moment.

How does this happen? Stress is caused by thoughts about either the past or the future. Thoughts, and therefore stress cannot exist when we are immersed in, and fully aware of the present moment.

This sounds so simple, yet the majority of people struggle with being mindful. The main cause for this is not being aware of being aware, this awareness is what many spiritual experts call the “witness” or “impartial spectator”.

In order to catch yourself in thought, you must first be aware that you are thinking. Without this awareness, mindfulness will not happen very often for you, and you will live mindlessly, and the chronic stress will continue to eat away at you.

You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.

 – Eckhart Tolle

 

Develop A Trigger For Your Awareness

When you are thinking and acting mindlessly, you must have a trigger that brings you back to the present moment. A trigger that will bring awareness to the “witness” or “impartial spectator”.

Examples of Triggers:

  • Focusing on, and taking a deep breath
  • Wearing an elastic band on your wrist and snapping it
  • Focusing on a specific colour
  • Focus on 1 of your 5 senses
  • Pinch yourself

Your trigger can literally be anything, do what works best for you. Try different triggers and choose one that resonates with you. Start off by using the trigger any time you catch yourself experiencing an emotion you don’t want to feel and bring yourself back to the present moment.

Taking Action And Adjusting Expectations

I completely understand how difficult can be to implement either one of these strategies. It may get frustrating at times, you may feel like you aren’t making any progress, but as long as you are doing your best to implement the change then you are making progress.

Adjust your expectations so that no matter the outcome, you win. If you establish an expectation that it will be easy to implement one of these strategies and that it will work immediately then you are setting yourself up for major frustrations.

Establish the expectation that you will give 100% effort every time, regardless of the outcome, and you will win.

Start small and practice each strategy daily. Eventually, both strategies will become an unconscious act, and your life will change forever, as did mine. Repetition is key!

 

If you have any experience with either of these strategies please let everyone know in the comments below!

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

 

 

 

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