How To Stop Emotional Eating From The Inside-Out

How To Stop Emotional Eating From The Inside-Out

I wrote on this same topic in a post titled how to stop food cravings and emotional eating on August of 2017. I just reread it, and quite frankly I am somewhat embarrassed that I would put out such an article… It does however, allow me to see how my vision has changed.

In that article, I spoke of several outside-in strategies for stopping food cravings; food journaling, pattern replacement, spontaneous outcomes, 24 hour strategy, exercise, and meditation.

I now realize that article was built upon a faulty premise; that the world outside can make us feel something in inside.

While each strategy has its’ own place, they each encourage and promote an outside-in experience of life. They each represent something we have to “do” in order to reduce or stop our emotional eating and food cravings.

This approach implies that our feelings do not originate intrinsically, that our feelings are somehow given birth by what we do instead of what we think about. That somehow the actions done by us, or by the world around us, give our emotions to us.

This is not the case, and this is why I now recognize that outside-in strategies such as the ones I mentioned in my past article are built upon a faulty premise.

At first glance, these strategies appear to have lots of merit, they seem to establish a support system for ourselves to help us go from how we currently feel to how we want to feel.

But what if…

we didn’t feel the need to change how we feel?

What if…

we didn’t create resistance to how we feel in the moment?

What if…

we understood that our feelings aren’t controlled by what we do or don’t do?

If we no longer fear or judge ourselves on how we feel, we can loosen the tight grip we have on the steering wheel of our emotions, and create the possibility of letting go.

Imagine that?

No more desire or need to control your emotions. Guess what also disappears along with your relinquishment to the illusion of control? Your emotional food cravings.

When the need to change how we feel disappears, we no longer look to food to change how we feel.

When we feel the need to change how we feel

We arrive home from a long day at work after battling the daily traffic for what seemed like eons. There were construction delays, a minor fender bender on the highway going in the opposite direction that everyone going in our direction had to slow down to snoop at, we were cut off a couple of times, and all we could do was watch the clock and the rest of our night whither away.

We still need to make dinner, but first we must deal with our feelings.

We feel angry and frustrated among other things. We tell our self that we don’t want to feel angry and frustrated, that we’re home now and we shouldn’t feel what we’re feeling. We feel the need to change how we feel.

So what do we do? We resist those feelings through food.

Little do we know, we are about to feed our self with a false sense of pleasure that creates the illusion that we’ve overcome our anger and frustration! We snack on whatever looks appealing in our fridge or cupboards. We are feeling pretty mighty now!

An hour later, dinner is ready. We sense our anger and frustration returning…and the cycle continues infinitely, that is, until we have an insight toward a new understanding.


Because as long as we create resistance to our emotions, we look for a way to manipulate how we feel.

When we don’t feel the need to change how we feel

Using the same scenario as above.

We still need to make dinner, but first we must deal with our feelings.

We feel angry and frustrated among other things. We tell our self that it’s perfectly OK to feel angry and frustrated. We don’t feel the need to change how we feel because we understand that it will pass if we don’t resist it.

So what do we do? We sit quietly on the couch to hold space for our self for 5-10 minutes. We allow our feeling to be, we allow our thoughts to be, we don’t judge them.

We can let our thoughts and feelings come and go like clouds passing through a bright sky, with a knowing that they will pass on their own and the sun will inevitably shine again.

10 minutes later, we feel a sense of calmness come over our self. We have completely forgotten why we felt angry and frustrated in the first place. We have a chuckle at our neurosis as we make our way into the kitchen to start dinner with our mind at home.

An hour later, dinner is ready. We thoroughly enjoy all the flavours of our creation without the need to use food for elation.

What do you fear happening if you don’t resist your emotions?

In other words, what are you afraid will happen if you feel your feelings?

The answer to this question is worth exploring because the answer we discover is the very same reason we resist our emotions.

We are afraid of a certain outcome that we think will happen if we feel what we don’t want to feel in the moment.

Ironically, the outcome from emotional eating literally shortens our lives.

Outcomes such as:

  • weight gain
  • diabetes
  • stroke
  • heart attack
  • cancer
  • insomnia
  • athlerosclorosis

We fear an illusionary outcome of feeling our feelings and replace it with an outcome that has been proven to kill us.

Not very logical is it?

When we peel back all the layers of fear toward what we think will happen if we allow ourselves to feel our feelings in their entirety, we are left with nothing, an empty space.

Within this space, lay new opportunities. Opportunities to feel the polarities, impermanence, and harmlessness of our feelings.

Our emotions are transient in nature, they always pass on their own accord, not ours.

Therefore, once we see through the illusion of our fear and cease to resist our transient emotions, we cease to crave food in an attempt to change them.

Our emotions don’t lead us to emotional eating, it’s our resistance to them that does.

Once this is experienced, it’s game over for emotional eating.

Yes, It IS This Simple

Most of us lead such complex lives that we feel if a solution to our challenge is too simple then it must not work. This is why I get a chuckle when I see the look on a clients face that basically says “THAT’S IT?”

Yes, that’s it.

Let your feelings be felt, they cannot hurt you. Resist and they will persist. Meet them with compassion and they will stop bothering you.

And when do this, and experience its’ profound simplicity, you can have a chuckle at your neuroticism that led you to believe food could actually transcend your feelings. You will now let your wisdom speak, and you will listen.

And soon enough, you will completely forget about food when an emotion arises.

What’s emotional eating again?

What are emotional food craving’s again?

Take care,

Learn from all your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

I Never Thought I’d Say This But…I’m Becoming A Vegetarian And Here’s Why:

I Never Thought I’d Say This But…I’m Becoming A Vegetarian And Here’s Why:

*Warning: I haven’t sugar-coated anything. Some readers may find some of the content disturbing. There will be videos (not auto-play), graphic descriptions, and brutal facts.*

*I also want to make it very clear that I do not, and will not, judge anyone who decides to eat meat.*

As of January 1st, 2019, I am officially going vegetarian, and “almost” Vegan. I will be eliminating meat, dairy (including eggs), and all animal byproducts from my diet. I say “almost” Vegan is because I may eat sashimi, lobster, crab, muscles, or scallops on occasion.

Never! No Way!

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would, or even could, become Vegetarian. Ten years ago, if I had gone to a psychic, and their reading told me that I will become a Vegetarian in the future, I would have laughed hysterically in their face and requested a refund right on the spot!

I have been an avid meat eater my entire life. I can recall countless different moments where I stated that I could never become vegetarian because I just love steak wayyyyy too much! I could never give up steak! Goes on to show that we should never say “never”.

Friends and family were shocked when I told them I am becoming Vegetarian. They all know how much I love my eat. Many of them thought it was a joke.

How It All Happened

I’d like to start of by saying that I have always been an animal lover. Since I was able to muster my first memory as a toddler, I’ve either had a cat, dog, or both as part of the family.

Along the way, I have learned much about the corruption, lies and greed surrounding the food industry, including the government. The complete disrespect for animals is really what disgusts me the most.

Food Inc.

The very first time I ever had a thought about possibly becoming Vegetarian one day was while I was watching Food Inc. several years ago. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this film, it is a documentary that sheds light on the dark side of the food industry.

There’s one specific scene that has been ingrained into my head due to the emotional connection it created within me. The following video is of the scene that sparked a thought that I didn’t think I would ever have.

Did you see the terror in the poor cows’ eyes? Do you think they’re happy?

Even if going Vegetarian saves one cows life then if then it is more than worth it to me.

Viral Video Of Chickens Being Tormented

I remember seeing this video when it went viral in the summer of 2017. I knew after watching this video that I would become Vegetarian one day, it was a future written in stone now.

Toronto Slaughterhouse Exposed

This one hits close to home for me, being that I live merely 20 minutes outside the City of Toronto.

Inhumane Treatment of Animals

The videos above are evidence of the sad reality that points toward a severe lack of compassion for animals. They are treated like their lives don’t matter. Well, I believe they do matter. I believe they matter just as much as any one of us human beings on this earth.

The living environments they are kept in are disgusting and disgraceful.

“The quality of life for animals on mass production farms (where most of the supply comes from) is the equivalent of being held a prisoner in a concentration camp.”

I refuse to continue enabling this by eating the remains of these beautiful living creatures.

Spiritual Influence

Here’s a touching piece of poetry written by Mother Teresa:

Because they give everything asking for nothing back… 
Because they are defenseless amid men’s weapons and power… 
Because they are eternal children…because they don’t know hate…or war…because they don’t know about money and only seek the protection of a shelter… 
Because they explain themselves without words, because their eyes are as pure as their souls…
Because they don’t know about envy or grudges, because forgiveness comes natural to them…
Because they love with loyalty and truthfulness… 
Because they recognize and appreciate respect…
Because they don’t buy love, they just expect it…
Because they are our companions, eternal friends that never betray…
And because they are alive. Because of this and a thousand other reasons they deserve our love! 
If we learn to love them like they deserve, for being creatures that feel, suffer and need us, we will be closer to God.

Mother Teresa

When I see a mouse outside of the house, I admire how cute they are instead of chasing them down with the sole of my foot or a hammer. Sure, they may do some damage if they ever got into the house but there’s a question I like to ask myself…

Which outcome would I prefer to live with?

a) Having taken the life of another animal to prevent having to do some extra work and spend some extra money on potentially damaged walls or insulation?


b) Having to do some extra work and spend some extra money in return for letting another animal live?

I choose option b every single time, no questions.

I would never put money, time, or effort ahead of the life of another animal. I’m not better than them, nor am I more important.

Just because we have the power to kill without repercussion, does not mean we need to exercise it.

Over the past two years I have been on a spiritual journey.

Over this time, the connection and oneness I feel with all things; living, non-living, physical, and non-physical has grown to a point where…

eating an animal has become the equivalent of eating another human being.

I have always had a connection with animals, particularly dogs. When visiting friends, family, or even meeting someone for the first time, I am a dog magnet.

Disclosure: I do give great massages so I’m sure that is factored into their choice to follow me around.

Aligning With My Beliefs

Being an animal lover, eating animals of any kind just doesn’t line up with my love for them. Although I have been eating them all my life despite my love for them, I never questioned my actions…until now.

I never asked why I continued to be an enabler of animal cruelty, animal slaughter, and animal murder, by adding to the demand of meat eaters. Why would I ask? I mean, everyone else does it, right? Nobody else around me questioned themselves on their beliefs or ethics so why would I.

And this is why I’m so grateful for this spiritual journey. I don’t want to be like anyone else anymore. I want to live in alignment with my own beliefs, the beliefs that are at the core of who I am. I want to be myself.

Sure, if I was lost in the wilderness for months on end with little or no vegetation to rely on for food, I would eat meat to survive. I’m faced with a decision, eat or die, and I would choose to eat.

Fortunately, we have been graced with an over-abundance of food here n North America and therefore we don’t need to choose between death or going against our beliefs. We have a choice to not eat animals without death being the consequence.

From No Love Lost To Love

Just over two years ago we added a cat to our family of a dog and a turtle. Her name is Laara, and there was no love lost between us for at least the first 6 months.

She thought it would be wise at the time to barge into our room between 12 a.m and 1 a.m every single night, meowing at the top of her lungs.

I like to leave the window open a tad during the night to bring in some fresh air. Laara decided that it was a good idea to get some every night as well. Her idea of getting some fresh air included several attempts of pouncing onto the window sill, with each failed attempt nearly dragging the drapes to the floor.

I would get up, making as much noise as I could, huffing and puffing and stomping my feet, chasing her out the bedroom door while attempting to inflict enough fear into her to not want to return.

It got to a point where I wouldn’t even bother trying to get to sleep before midnight, despite waking up between 5:30 a.m and 6:30 a.m the following morning.

Allie would always tell me that it’s because I don’t show her affection or give her attention that she decides to go to such extremes for attention. I never bought that b.s philosophy at the time.

As my spiritual journey deepened, I naturally started showing Laara more affection, attention, and dare I say the word….love. Ironically enough, her midnight episodes came to and end.

She now greets me when I get home…belly up.

Are There Any Doubts?

This has been a common question, and in some instances, more of a statement doubting the permanency of my commitment due to my love for the taste of meat.

The people who truly know me, know that when I have my mind set on something there is no turning back. I am doing this through conviction and love. Nothing and nobody will ever stand in the way of its’ permanence.

There is not a single drop of doubt residing within me. I love animals too much to put my taste buds before my love of them ever again. That would be a selfish and cowardly act on my part.

Impacts of going vegan for just 1 day:

  • 1100 gallons of water saved
  • 45 pounds of grain saved
  • 30 square feet of forested land saved
  • 20 lbs of CO2 equivalent saved from the atmosphere
  • 1 animal’s life saved

Other harsh realities:

  • Cows produce milk only when they’re pregnant, so they must continually forcibly impregnated.
  • After a cow gives birth, the calf is immediately taken away from their mother. If the baby is a male, he is killed for meat, most know this meat as veal. If the baby is a female, she will have the same experience as her mother.
  • The mother cow will be killed for meat around the age of four because that is when her milk production starts to decline. The costs of keeping her alive and pregnant outweigh the profits she can yield at that point.
  • Chickens are bred to lay far more than is normal for their bodies – about 300 eggs per year. Whereas chickens in the wild lay about 12 eggs per year.
  • In the hatcheries, the male chicks are slaughtered immediately after birth through suffocation or being tossed into a met grinder because they aren’t useful.
  • Hens are kept in pens where they are crammed so closely together, these normally clean animals are forced to urinate and defecate of each other.
  • Their beaks are cut off so that they won’t peck each other out of frustration created by the unnatural environment they’ve been confined in.
  • The amount of land required to feed one person who is vegan is 1/6 of an acre; the amount o land required to feed one person who is a vegetarian for one year is 3X as much as a vegan; and the land required to feed one person for a year who is a meat and dairy consumer is 18X as much as a vegan.
  • Waste caused by animal agriculture is the leading cause of species extinction, ocean dead zones, water pollution, and habitat destruction.
  • Animal agriculture is responsible for more emissions than all transportation combined.
  • 1000 gallons of water are used for every gallon of milk consumed.

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish
Eat That Shitty Food Cuz “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”

Eat That Shitty Food Cuz “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”

I have to call bullshit on this one. In my experience, saying “you only live once” (a.k.a “YOLO”) has to be one of the most widely used beliefs for people to justify poor eating decisions.

I do want to clarify, I am referring to the poor decisions people make with only food and I am well aware that when it comes to eating there are many reasons why people make poor decisions. I am solely going to be talking about those who make poor food choices that use this belief to justify them.

I am also speaking on those who use this statement as their crutch to repeatedly justify their decisions, not the one-offs who do it once a month. For those people, it is much more empowering to say you made a decision to eat that shitty food because “you wanted to” since this would accept responsibility.

A Bullshit Belief

I am eternally grateful that this is one bullshit belief I never bought into, it just never made sense to me. It is a belief that completely strips all your power away as you cry victim to only living once (even that is up for debate by some).

Because so many people fall into this belief and share the same commonality, I find it humorous to observe people’s responses when I neglect to agree with them on their statement that “you only live once” and in turn I ask “and do you prefer to live that one life shorter or longer? I mean…you only live once right?”.

The main point I am aiming to convey here is that justifying knowingly poor choices by saying “you only live once” is self-victimizing and does not serve you. To take it one step further,

I think it is a cop-out for not taking responsibility for poor decisions by trying to justify them.

Living Once…Shorter or Longer? The Choice is Yours

I don’t know about you, but I prefer to live longer based on the choices I make, not shorter. If you prefer the latter then I would be tempted to question how much you value your life? By repeatedly adhering to this dis-empowering belief you are actually making your life shorter.

Making choices that are known to potentially shorten ones life may lead one to wonder why someone would do such a thing? I know for myself, I have always been curious as to why someone would take that risk.

In my opinion, it all comes down to how much one values their life and their need for instant gratification.

The Need For Instant Gratification

If someone eats those 2 cookies every night after dinner, eats out on weekends, or drinks that sugar filled latte every day while knowing that the cumulative effects have a high probability of shortening their life must make them wonder why they would do such a thing. I find this is an area that many fear to explore due to discovering facing the truth behind the lie.

If one is lacking gratification in their life, then adding food as a source of instant gratification to their life at the cost of potentially shortening their life seems to make sense. Basically, what is being conveyed here is

“I would rather live a shorter life filled with some gratification then life a longer life that lacks the same gratification”

If you are one to seek instant gratification from food, it is potentially life-saving to explore how you can add more sustainable sources of gratification in your life that will actually serve you living longer and feeling better.


It is very clear to see how much one values their life by observing their decisions. Eating those 2 cookies every night (or every other night) because “you only live once” really speaks to the value they place on their life.

One who repeatedly makes decisions to eat food that has a high probability of shortening their life seems to neglect the value of making decisions that have a high probability of extending their life.

Our decisions are always in alignment with our thoughts. Therefore, if one thinks that their life has little value then they will treat it as such by making decisions that support a life that they deem has little value.

Wrapping Up

If you happen to be one of those people who use the statement “you only live once” to justify you poor food choices, it is completely understandable if you resist facing the truth behind the lie. It does not mean there is something wrong with you or that you’re any less of a person than anyone else.

All it means is that you innocently believed a lie that has not served you up to this point in your life and you now have the opportunity to empower yourself by consciously choosing a belief that will serve you living a longer life.

Know someone who says “you only live once” to justify poor food choices? Share this with them.

What is your opinion on YOLO? 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

The One And ONLY Cause of Stress – Can You Guess What It Is?

The One And ONLY Cause of Stress – Can You Guess What It Is?

WebMD and many other “authorities” are pointing many people searching for the cause of their stress in the completely wrong direction. It’s time to get this one right.

Unfortunately, WebMD has two of the most popular articles on the causes of emotional and psychological stress and they are offering some of the worst information, how ironic right?

Article 1 and Article 2 are blaming nearly everything outside of you, essentially claiming you are a victim of circumstance most of the time. No wonder so many people are stressed, with thoughts like that you are doomed to live a life of chronic emotional and psychological stress.

I guess I should give them credit for their feeble attempt at sourcing the only cause of stress when they said this “Sometimes the stress comes from inside, rather than outside.”.

What Does WebMD Claim To Cause All Of Our Emotional and Psychological Stress?

To bring you closer to the truth of the one and only cause of stress I will bring truth each and every so-called stressor that is listed in both of WebMD’s articles.

As you read on you may resonate with some of the so-called stressors and I want you to know that by no means am I minimizing the challenge of each situation.

I have experienced several of these stressful situations myself, the difference is that I now experience them much differently, and you can too once you understand the one and only cause of your stress.

Your health

Example:  Diabetes

The lie: Diabetes is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you having diabetes are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I cannot eat my favourite foods as often as I want now”

“I have no more freedom with food”

“My chances of dying at an earlier age have now increased”

Your relationships

Example:  Feeling lack of friendships or support

The lie: The feeling of this lack is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that lead to this feeling of lack are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“My friends should call me more often”

“I am the one putting in all the work”

“Now is when I need people the most and they aren’t there”

Major life changes

Example:  Losing your job

The lie: The loss of your job is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you losing your job are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“How am I going to pay the bills?”

“I can’t believe they fired me instead of that low life”

“See, I’m not good enough for this, this proves it”

Stress in your family

Example:  Being a caregiver (which I currently am)

The lie: Being a caregiver is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being a caregiver are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I don’t want to lose this person”

“Taking care of this person is such a burden on my life”

“They don’t appreciate what I do for them”

Conflicts with your beliefs and values

Example:  You value spending time with your family but don’t spend as much time with them as you would prefer

The lie: Not spending enough time with your family is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on not spending enough time with your family are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I should be spending more time with my family”

“If I stop working overtime then I won’t be able to pay the bills, and then we will lose the house, and then my spouse will divorce me, and then I won’t see my kids as often….AHHHHH”

“I am missing my kids growing up by not being there”

Your surroundings

Example: You live in a crowded city

The lie: The crowded city is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on you living in a crowded city are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I can’t stand being able to walk to the store while being elbowed 20 times”

“The traffic in this city makes my blood boil”

“I feel like I have no privacy around here”

Your shitty job

Example:  Being unhappy with your job

The lie: Your shitty job is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on how shitty your job is are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I hate my boss he’s an asshole”

“Everyone at work is so pretentious”

“I cannot believe they haven’t promoted me yet”

Public Speaking

Example:  Having to give speeches in front of colleagues

The lie: Giving speeches in front of your colleagues is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on giving speeches in front of your colleagues are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“What if they don’t like my speech?”

“Now everyone sees how much of a failure I am”

“This will tarnish my flawless reputation if I screw up”

The death of a loved one

Example:  You lost your spouse

The lie: The loss of your spouse is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on losing your spouse are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“Why them? They didn’t deserve it”

“My life is not worth living anymore”

“I can never move on from this”

Relationship problems

Example:  Your spouse cheated on you

The lie: Your spouse cheating on you is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on your cheating spouse are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I hope they burn in hell after what they did to me”

“I’m not worthy enough for someone to stay loyal to me”

“This relationship was a lie the whole time”

Increase in financial obligations

Example:  Extra medical expenses

The lie: The extra medical expenses are the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on the extra medical expenses are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“I cannot believe these expenses are not covered by the damn health care system or insurance, bunch of frauds they are”

“I can’t afford this”

“These drugs are way overpriced, what a ripoff”

Getting married

Example:  Planning the wedding

The lie: Planning the wedding is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on planning your wedding are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“There are so many things to do and not enough time”

“I feel like I am doing all of the work (even though I don’t trust anyone else to get it done)”

“I look horrible, these pictures are going to be an eyesore”

Moving to a new home

Example:  Prepping your house for sale

The lie: Prepping your house for sale is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on prepping your house for sale are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This house is a pig sty”

“Nobody cares about this damn house but me”

“The house isn’t going to be ready on time”

Chronic illness or injury

Example:  Being diagnosed with cancer

The lie: Being diagnosed with cancer is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being diagnosed with cancer are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“Why me?”

“I’m going to die sooner than I want”

“My life is over”

Emotional problems

Example:  Being diagnosed with depression

The lie: Being diagnosed with depression is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on being diagnosed with depression are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This now confirms I am depressed”

“I guess this is the way it is, I am just a depressed person and there is nothing I can do about it”

“I am out of control”

Traumatic events

Example:  Having been abused

The lie: Having been abused is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts on having been abused are the cause of your stress.

Stressful thoughts such as:

“How could anyone else ever love me?”

“I should have been braver and said something earlier”

“I am such a weak person”

Attitudes and perceptions.

Example:  Your view of the world

The lie: Your view of the world is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that create your view of the world are the cause of your stress. T

Stressful thoughts such as:

“This world is a tough place to live “

“There should only be peace in this world”

“You cannot trust anybody in this world”


Example:  Having unrealistic expectations

The lie: Having unrealistic expectations is the cause of your stress

The truth: Your thoughts that create your unrealistic expectations are the cause of your stress

Stressful thoughts such as:

“They should know how to do that by now”

“I shouldn’t have to ask twice”

“If I did that for them then they should do this for me”

Have you figured out now what is the ONLY cause of stress?

If you guessed your thoughts you would be wrong. At this point, I can only assume you are extremely confused and I am loving the suspense.

If it is not thoughts that are the only cause of stress then what is it?

OK, OK….are you ready for it?

Are you sure?

It is the thoughts that you believe that are the only cause of your stress!

I would like to say this again as I cannot stress the importance of truly grasping what I am saying.

It is the thoughts that you believe that are the only cause of your stress!

If you don’t believe me, re-read all of the examples from above, but this time read them without believing a single thought from the examples. In fact, how do you imagine you would feel if you believed the opposite of each of those thoughts?

I would like to now review a statement from WebMD that I mentioned in the beginning of the article that says “Sometimes the stress comes from inside, rather than outside.”.

The truth is that “Stress ALWAYS comes from the inside, rather than outside.”

We all have similar thoughts but we all believe different things, how?

How can two people respond differently to the very same situation even if they have the very same thoughts? They each believe different thoughts.

Once you start believing a thought you now give that thought more attention. This attention will lead to a feeling and this feeling will lead to a response. Therefore, different thoughts believed different responses.

Wrapping Up

I sincerely hope that finding out the one and only true cause of your emotional and psychological stress has been an uplifting and liberating experience for you. Believe me, this is one understanding that can truly change your life forever.

I encourage you to take control of the one cause of your stress by only believing in the thoughts that serve you.

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

How To Stop Emotional Eating And Food Cravings

How To Stop Emotional Eating And Food Cravings

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there, that mid-afternoon craving, the dinners that aren’t complete without a sweet finish, the late evening crunch, and the uncontrollable urge to fill cravings when stress takes over your life. This can also be applied to alcohol for those of you who are constantly tempted by that ice-cold beer or a soothing glass of wine. 

It is not the act of eating or drinking alcohol that is the issue of discussion, it is the reasoning behind those actions. Since if you are not eating or drinking for any other reason except a feeble attempt to elicit a feeling that you perceive as more positive or beneficial than what you currently feel, THAT is the problem. 

Given that we are dealing with emotions here, your emotional distress may go very deep for some of you. This may take weeks, or possibly months of active re-conditioning to really take back control, while others it may come to an abrupt end after having created a massive paradigm shift in the mind. Putting a stop to emotional eating or food cravings is not a quick fix, it takes a keen understanding, a conviction to change, and daily conscious reinforcement. 

Hunger vs Cravings 

Understanding the difference between true hunger and an emotional food craving is absolutely pivotal to your long-term success towards eating intuitively. Most people that are emotional eaters have little to no distinction between the two. 

Follow the next step to help decipher between the two. 

 How To Control Emotional Eating With A Journal 

Logging your cravings into a journal is an amazing way to start understanding how your emotions and habits affect your cravings. You can really start to decipher between emotional cravings and true hunger by using this tool. 

Keeping a journal will encourage you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and habits and their relationship with food in a way you have never done before. 

I highly recommend you journal for a minimum of 2 weeks. This allows enough time for patterns to emerge. Nearly all of our daily actions can be traced back to a certain pattern. Once you are aware of the pattern, your brain picks up on this. 


 How To Control Emotional Eating Without Eating  

Emotional eaters use food in an attempt to elicit a certain emotion they would like to experience. This is why it is paramount to log your cravings in order to understand what those emotions are. This will bring awareness to what you were previously oblivious to. If you haven’t already, download the journal from the link above, this will make much more sense when you take a look at the journal.

Common emotions that trigger emotional eating: 

    • Despair 
    • Boredom 
    • Sadness 
    • Unworthiness 
    • Frustration (common from work stress) 
    • Fear 
  • Reward Based 

One major flaw with using food in an attempt to re-balance your emotional state (beyond the obvious of adding numerous empty calories) is that any positive feelings that may arise from your emotional binge are TEMPORARY!  

What happens an hour later when the high wears off and you go right back into that same undesired emotional state? Since you haven’t any other way to elicit the emotion your striving for other than stuffing your face with food, you will repeat the same pattern. 

 Breaking The Emotional Eating Pattern 

 STEP 1 – Get Leverage 

The first thing you need to do is get real with yourself.  Write down all the ways that your current emotional eating pattern will cause you misery in the future when it comes to your health, relationships, self-image, career, and any other area of your life that will be affected. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t butter it up. If you think your current pattern has the potential to take 20 years off your life then write it down! BE REAL! 

If you do not get enough leverage on yourself you will not succeed. If you do not feel a compelling motivation to change the instant after you read what you wrote down then you do not have enough leverage on yourself. In other words, you need a stronger reason to inflict change. 

 STEP 2 – Replace The Pattern 

Write down 15 things (or more) you can do that will generate the desired emotions you discovered from your food log. None of these things can include eating ANYTHING! Sure, you can cook, as cooking is a fantastic therapy for many people. Don’t be eating your delicious meal as your cooking it though! And no, baking a sugar-filled dessert does not count! Cook a meal that will add years to your life, not take them off. 

Spontaneous Outcomes

This strategy relies on breaking the pattern through rearranging certain tendencies, or habits. For example, if you have a tendency to stay up late, say 1 hour later than you would like to go to bed, and this also tends to be a time when you do much of your late night snacking, simply go to bed 1 hour earlier. By doing this you will effectively break the current pattern of associating snacking within that specific hour prior to bed, and an association with whatever you typically do within that hour before bed. If you completely eliminate both triggers then there is nothing left to associate late night snacking with.

You can apply this strategy to any other evening tasks that are part of your ritual such as when you eat dinner, when you shower, when you watch t.v, when you call your mother when you walk the dog when you go to the gym etc. Completely re-arrange when you do all these things, mix it all up, it will throw your mind for a loop, wondering what you’re doing in the shower when you are typically watching t.v and snacking at that time. There is a good chance the craving will pass since you broke your evening ritual pattern.

The way this works is you are taking advantage of the fact that humans are creatures of habits and patterns, and manipulating this to your advantage.

This is such a simple strategy that it can easily be overlooked. It is extremely powerful and so easy to implement!

How To Stop Emotional Eating Through Extreme Measures 

Before reading ahead, you must understand that what I am about to discuss is not for the faint of heart. It is a drastic attempt to kick a particular food from your diet for good. It has the ability to be highly effective if putting an end to your emotional, and even habitual eating habits for good. 

 The 24 Hour Strategy  

The strategy here is actually very simple, you may even chuckle after you read it wondering if this guy is actually serious. 

Let’s say chocolate is the bane of your existence and you must kick it from your diet for good. Buy all of your favourite chocolates, if it’s just one then buy 1 kind if you have 5 different favourites buy all 5. Make sure you buy more than enough to supply yourself as the only food you will be eating for 24 hrs. 

Yes, that is right, eat those chocolates (or whatever food it is you’re trying to kick) for 24 hours straight. You are allowed no other food. You will get sick (literally) of your chosen food by the time those 24 hours are up. 

The Premise Behind This Strategy  

Most people can relate to this: Is there a certain food you cannot eat anymore because you have gotten sick off of it at one time? Maybe it was food poisoning, maybe you had the flu, maybe you drank too much alcohol etc. The reasoning doesn’t necessarily matter, because your brain associates being nauseated with this particular food it has been conditioned to reject even the mere thought of it. 

Your brain is currently wired to gaining pleasure from eating your chosen food. The objective of this strategy is to rewire your brain to associate disgust with your chosen food. 

 Exercise is A Strategy – And It Biochemically Changes You 

If you exercise or have exercised in the past, and you are mindful of your reactions post exercise you will notice a significant reduction or elimination of cravings. This effect can last the entire day if you work-out in the morning. 

For those people who tend to reward themselves after meals or are late night snackers, go for a 10-minute brisk walk and watch your craving disappear into thin air. 

Exercise has been shown to reduce Cortisol (our stress hormone), increase Dopamine and Serotonin (which is why you feel great after a workout), and improve insulin sensitivity (which will stabilize your blood sugar levels). If you have unstable blood sugar due to a lack of insulin sensitivity, which is the gateway to Diabetes, you will tend to crave after your blood sugar drops rapidly. 

 Meditation Is A Strategy – It Also Biochemically Changes You 

Meditation is gaining a very strong evidence-base towards its’ positive effects on the brain. One of the most notable effects is the ability for meditation to significantly reduce stress and change our state very rapidly. 

The rapid change of state can instantly reduce your stress, and in turn, reduce your stress hormone Cortisol and raise your feel-good hormones Dopamine and Serotonin.  

A great time to do a quick meditation is immediately after arriving home from work. This is typically when stress levels are at their highest and can last well into the evening and affecting your quality of sleep. 

For those of you who have never tried meditation, there is a fantastic app that you can use for free to guide you along the way. The app is called InsightTimer, you can click on the link below to download it for free. 

Download: InsightTimer

 And Remember…

You Must Take Action! 

Good Luck! 

 If you have any questions feel free to contact me, I would love to help you out!

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

How To Reduce Stress Levels Instantly

How To Reduce Stress Levels Instantly

Stress is the #1 cause of disease and an epidemic in its’ own right. Money (and anything related to this currency) and time (not enough) are probably the 2 largest contributors towards influencing people’s perceived stress levels today.

Stress is also the #1 contributor to today’s astronomically high divorce rate. You can argue that money is the #1 contributor, and that wouldn’t be false. What is the by-product of the negative connotation that money brings in this relationship that it destroys? STRESS!

Before you continue reading I want you to understand that the information I will be provided in this article is NOT a long-term solution for solving your stress “problem”. I will be providing ways to achieve immediate relief from your perceived stressors, which if implemented consistently, in the long run, can play a major role in the long-term solution.

You Must Understand This First…

You create your own stress!

2 Effective Ways To Obliterate Stress Instantly

I will be touching on 2 effective ways to completely obliterate your stress on the spot. I can attest to their effectiveness and each strategy is nothing short of life-changing I can assure you. Neither is easy to do and must be practiced daily on even the most minute stressors.

These 2 ways are:

  1. Changing your perception/Reframing
  2. Mindfulness

These are definitely not the only 2 ways to reduce stress levels immediately, they are the only 2 I will be touching on in this article. I chose these 2 strategies based on personal experience, as I have used them on myself and others with outstanding results.

How To Reduce Stress By Changing Your Perception

I know, you might be thinking…

“NO F*cking way, this happened to me, that happened to me, this person did this to me, that person said that to me, THESE ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE CAUSING MY STRESS NOT ME!”

I hate to break it to ya, it is not the circumstances of your life that cause your stress, it is your perception of those circumstances that cause your stress. Within that perception, you developed the meaning you have given to each circumstance.

So long as you remain a victim of circumstance, you will be a prisoner of your own  mind


(In this example I will use one of my clients. For sake of privacy I will name the lady June and leave the event nameless)

June and her husband created a special event to gather more awareness to a specific topic. The purpose of this event was not to make money, and solely for awareness. The couple had worked tirelessly on creating this special event, putting in countless hours, and funded it with their own money.

The couple had just hosted their 2nd annual event. The turnout was good considering the poor weather, as the event was hosted outdoors. During the event, one of their trusted board members approached them with some sour news. This board member informed them that another board member is conspiring against them.

The plan was to hijack the event, and ultimately steal the rights to it. There was much effort put into the hijacking and was planned months prior. Without the act of the one board member who fed June this information, the hijacking probably would have been a success.

June and her husband are now in an on-going legal battle with the hijacker,  in order to ensure rights to the event they had created from scratch.

Junes’ perception of the event: It was a personal attack

June took the attempted hijacking as a personal attack against her, as a person.

Can you imagine how much stress that would inflict on you to take the majority of your unfortunate circumstances personally? To make the entire situation about YOU?

How a shift in perception brought June immediate stress relief

June’s New Perception: The attempted hijacking is actually a compliment

How is that horrible action a compliment you may ask? June created such a phenomenal event that someone actually put their reputation on the line in an attempt to steal it from her. People don’t do that unless what they are going after is worth their own reputation.

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it

– Anthony Robbins

How the power of questions changed June’s perception:

Question: “Why would anyone ever want to steal an event from someone?”

Answer: “Because they want to own it for themselves”

Question: “And why would they want to own the event for themselves?”

Answer: “Because they see potential in it, they see value in it, maybe they envy it because they don’t believe they can create such a phenomenal event, and need to steal it from someone else, maybe they saw all the hard work has been done and want to now ride the wave of success?”

Question: “Why would someone put their entire reputation on the line in an attempt to steal something that is not theirs?”

Answer: “Because they see enormous value in it”

Question: “Who created this enormous value from scratch?”

Answer: “June did. Congratulations to June, as she just created an event so phenomenal that someone was willing to put their entire reputation on the line for it. Trying to hijack it was their way of complimenting you on creating such enormous value.”

2 Questions you can ask yourself to get curious:

  1. What else could this mean?
  2. If I had to find something positive about this what would it be?

Practice Reframing By Using Past Unwanted Circumstances

Get a piece of paper and write down this exercise:

  1. Choose a situation from your past that still brings unwanted emotions when you think about it
  2. Ask yourself the 2 questions above to get yourself curious
  3. Write down all the answers you can come up with, the more answers the better

Practice this with as many unwanted experiences from your past as you can. The more you practice, the more you train your new thought patterns, and you end up breaking your old thought patterns that have created much of your unwanted stress in the past.

How To Reduce Stress With Mindfulness

For those who are unaware, mindfulness means being fully immersed in the present moment. Your mind is not anywhere else except being aware of the very moment you are in at any given time. Mindfulness provides immediate stress relief due to the simplicity of being in the present moment.

How does this happen? Stress is caused by thoughts about either the past or the future. Thoughts, and therefore stress cannot exist when we are immersed in, and fully aware of the present moment.

This sounds so simple, yet the majority of people struggle with being mindful. The main cause for this is not being aware of being aware, this awareness is what many spiritual experts call the “witness” or “impartial spectator”.

In order to catch yourself in thought, you must first be aware that you are thinking. Without this awareness, mindfulness will not happen very often for you, and you will live mindlessly, and the chronic stress will continue to eat away at you.

You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.

 – Eckhart Tolle

Develop A Trigger For Your Awareness

When you are thinking and acting mindlessly, you must have a trigger that brings you back to the present moment. A trigger that will bring awareness to the “witness” or “impartial spectator”.

Examples of Triggers:

  • Focusing on, and taking a deep breath
  • Wearing an elastic band on your wrist and snapping it
  • Focusing on a specific colour
  • Focus on 1 of your 5 senses
  • Pinch yourself

Your trigger can literally be anything, do what works best for you. Try different triggers and choose one that resonates with you. Start off by using the trigger any time you catch yourself experiencing an emotion you don’t want to feel and bring yourself back to the present moment.

Taking Action And Adjusting Expectations

I completely understand how difficult can be to implement either one of these strategies. It may get frustrating at times, you may feel like you aren’t making any progress, but as long as you are doing your best to implement the change then you are making progress.

Adjust your expectations so that no matter the outcome, you win. If you establish an expectation that it will be easy to implement one of these strategies and that it will work immediately then you are setting yourself up for major frustrations.

Establish the expectation that you will give 100% effort every time, regardless of the outcome, and you will win.

Start small and practice each strategy daily. Eventually, both strategies will become an unconscious act, and your life will change forever, as did mine. Repetition is key!

If you have any experience with either of these strategies please let everyone know in the comments below!

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

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