InSights on Forgiveness

InSights on Forgiveness

Learn to forgive through a deeper understanding of forgiveness and its’ relationship to freedom and love.

  • Forgiveness does not mean we agree with what we are forgiving. It means that we’re no longer going to allow our past to hold power over us via our thoughts. The biggest misconception and roadblock to freedom that I notice people tend to have when it comes to forgiveness is this: That to forgive is to let off the hook, to say that what you, or I did is OK. I used to believe this myself as well. This was until I understood that forgiveness has nothing to do with what I am forgiving and it has everything to do with expressing love for myself. Allowing my past to control me was severely blunting my potential as a human being. It was blocking my ability to express compassion and love fully. Truth be told, I wouldn’t be putting myself out there in front of thousand of eyeballs on Instagram right now if it wasn’t for forgiveness. I wouldn’t have felt that my words are worthy. Now that my past doesn’t control my sense of self-worth, I am being vulnerable and putting my mind out there. I freed myself up to seek a higher potential and new levels of consciousness. Practice forgiveness to not allow your past to hold power over your present and control your future. You are worthy of living your highest potential… You are worthy of freedom from your past… You are worthy of feeling love and expressing love… ALWAYS

  • Forgiveness isn’t about what or who we are forgiving. It’s all about us, we allow it for ourselves. It’s about replacing our resentment and tension for another, or ourselves, with freedom, understanding, compassion, peace and love within ourselves.

  • Forgiveness is an act of love toward ourselves and freedom from the unforgiven.

  • Forgiveness is a gift that allows us to live freely in an otherwise unfair and unjust world. If we hold resentments toward any action that we deem as unfair or unjust, we will continue to remain prisoners of our own minds. Our resentments hold us hostage and influence our every action the same way we would if we were held hostage at gunpoint by some lunatic criminal. This is not freedom my friends. Freedom is being able to make choices that aren’t influenced by resentments, but instead influenced by love.

  • Forgiveness allows us to see what our resentments were blinding us from. There’s five things our resentments blind us from: understanding, compassion, freedom, peace and love. The stronger our resentments are, the more difficulty we will have in understanding others or ourselves, and in expressing compassion and love toward others or ourselves. I liken holding resentments to a horse wearing blinders. When wearing them, their perception is limited to only what is right in front of them. They aren’t capable of seeing the vast world around them. They are missing out on the big picture and incapable of understanding what is beyond their blinders. To them, what they see is all there is but all there is isn’t what they see.

  • How do you know you have forgiven someone? You are no longer triggered by the mere thought of them. Instead, you feel a new found sense of understanding and underlying peace. I never understood this until I forgave my dad. I have a new understanding of how his history (childhood) influenced his self-concept, his morals, and his insecurities. I can now see how my history had influenced me up until my point of forgiveness as well, we are both human, we are one in the same. To take it one step further, I released my judgment toward him being wrong in the past because I now understand he was doing the best he could with the understanding he had, leaving me with nothing left to forgive. I am no longer triggered by the thought of him. In fact, I feel compassion and love when I think of him, which I never felt before my point of forgiveness.

Learn from all of your experiences,

opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

InSights on Listening

InSights on Listening

Develop your listening skills and become a deeper, more impactful listener with these short insights.

  • Many times, people just want your ear, not your voice. We are often so quick to want to give people our advice that we seldom truly listen. I used to think that my advice is what people always wanted, so I made sure I gave it to them. Upon deeper reflection and inquiry, I started to realize that this just wasn’t true. The roadblock with thinking that this is true is two fold; we get caught up with formulating our advice that we actually stop listening, and, feeling heard is what people want most of the time, wise advice is just a bonus. Deep listening, on its’ own has the ability to create a transformational experience within another, words aren’t a necessity for this to happen. Unfortunately, deep listening seems to be a rarity these days, let’s change that.

  • The next time someone confides in you, play a game with yourself. See if you can get through the conversation without giving advice. If this is something you typically don’t do, be prepared for some shocking results.

  • Want to wow someone? Listen, don’t judge, be understanding, be compassionate, and instead of giving advice; ask questions that point them back to their innate wisdom.

  • The pause in a conversation is not a time to jump in, it is a space created for conscious reflection and an opportunity for new thought to come through into expression. Are you allowing time for them to pause and reflect before jumping in? Guilty as charged. I used to be terrible at this, waiting for that momentary pause so I can jump in to express my opinion or give my advice. After learning the significance of the pause, and consciously using it as a space for reflection instead of an opportunity to jump in, I noticed the other person would generally relax into that space and speak on thoughts that I generally would have robbed them from by jumping in.

  • Understanding what someone is saying is incomplete if you don’t hear the meaning behind their words. Words in and of themselves have no meaning without context. If we attach our own meaning to their words instead of listening for their meaning, we haven’t heard them. Many of us hang on to words, I notice I tend to do this more often than I’d like. But words can mean so many different things. Listen for the words within the context they are being spoken and the emotional background they are given birth from. We are guaranteed to hear something different if we do.

  • A deep listener will explore beyond the obvious, and beyond understanding, to find meaning.

  • Fun Fact: We can listen at 400 words per minute yet only speak at 125-175 words per minute. Because of the gap between the rate at which we can listen and speak, it is inevitable that your mind will wander at times while listening to another. The difference maker is, how quickly you can catch your mind wandering and bring it back to the present moment.

  • When people are speaking, let them speak. If they appear to be struggling to find a word or put together their next thought, give them space. Don’t attempt to finish what you didn’t give them the chance to.

Learn from all of your experiences,

opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

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