2 Of The Biggest Myths About Meditation And Finding Peace Of Mind

2 Of The Biggest Myths About Meditation And Finding Peace Of Mind

If you have struggled with either finding peace of mind or starting/maintaining a consistent meditation practice then these are probably the same truths that you believe to be myths. They’re likely the same truths that are keeping you from finding a peace of mind or a meditation practice. I would like to clear the air for you in hopes that it will propel you forward.

After numerous conversations with people, I have taken notice of the same reasons that keep coming up as to why they apparently can’t meditate or find peace of mind.

Myth/Truth #1: “I can’t stop thinking”

If you attempt to meditate or find peace of mind by means of stopping your thinking then you will be thoroughly disappointed, to the point that you will most likely want to quit.

Think of your thoughts travelling on a never-ending conveyor belt, doing loop, after loop, after loop. This conveyor belt doesn’t have an off button, nor does it even have a pause button, it loops infinitely.

Each time the conveyor belt comes around to you, it brings with it a random set of thoughts.

Some thoughts may be the same as you had just 1 minute ago.

Others may be regurgitated thoughts you had hours, days, weeks, months, or even years ago.

While other thoughts may be brand new, never ever seen before.

This conveyor belt runs on an infinite power source, as does your conscious awareness. This power source never dies. Even when you’re dead and your conscious awareness is no longer brought to life, this infinite conveyor belt will continue to run, supplying thoughts to the conscious awareness of others.

Nobody knows where these thoughts come from, some say God, some say the divine, some say our creator, some say the universal life force etc. What we do know is that they appear seemingly out of nowhere, like the magic of pulling a rabbit out of an empty hat.

Since we can’t stop the conveyor belt that delivers our thoughts, can we at least control it?

Myth/Truth #2: “I can’t control my thinking”.

If you meditate or search for peace of mind by means of controlling your thinking, once again, you will be thoroughly disappointed.

Now that you know your thinking will never stop so long as you’re alive and consciously aware, the next logical step for many people is trying to assert some form of control over them. This too, my friend, is a big myth.

This attempt to gain control typically comes from trying to choose which thoughts get placed on the conveyor belt or slow the conveyor belt down to slow down the rate at which your thoughts get delivered.

Just as we have zero control over being able to stop thoughts from popping into our head, we have zero control over which thoughts pop into our head.

You may now be starting to realize that you were never in control in the first place, that you just thought you were. This can be a very startling and mind-bending experience.

Surely we can slow down our thoughts, right? As far as I know, we can’t. However, we can most certainly create the illusion that our thoughts have slowed down.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “time flies when you’re having fun”. Time appears to speed up during those moments. Yet, when you’re bored time appears to slow to a crawl. This is the grand illusion of time.

When we’re stressed, panicked, overwhelmed, or in any similar state of mind, we are under this illusion that our thoughts are racing at a much faster pace than normal. Confusion tends to set in and we’re bouncing back and forth between thoughts.

When we’re peaceful, happy, content, or in any similar state of mind, we are under this illusion that our thoughts are slowed.

We can drive two different cars at the same speed and feel like we’re going faster in one car, and slower in the other. How is this possible? We use cues such as noise and vibration to estimate the speed of the car.

We use similar cues when we feel like our thoughts are moving faster or slower. When we’re in a state of stress our thoughts appear quite noisy, creating the illusion that noise equals speed. When we’re in a state of peace our thoughts appear to be much quieter, giving us the illusion that quiet equals slow.

Now That You Know This…

I hope this helps cut through the illusion of these two myths. Keep in mind that you are to observe your thoughts, you’re not trying to control them or stop them. The paradox here is that you gain some sense of control by relinquishing your attempt to control.

By understanding that we were never in control in the first place and still made it this far, seems pretty amazing considering we were probably oblivious to this all our lives.

How can this understanding change your life now that you are aware of it?

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

Ever Seen Your Problems As A Mack Truck Coming At You? Read This

Ever Seen Your Problems As A Mack Truck Coming At You? Read This

During a recent conversation with a client, they metaphorically told me they saw their most recent struggles as a mack truck coming at them. That’s some pretty serious shit. It’s no wonder they’ve been making poor decisions out of panic, they see a Mack Truck coming at them, leaving them one of two choices…live or die!

This thought will immediately initiate our fight or flight signals in the brain, telling our bodies to pump out adrenaline like it’s their only job. Seemingly presenting two panic-filled choices, stand in the way and get killed or jump out of the way and live to see another day.

What if there is a third option?

Here is the metaphor I then presented to them. (and yes, I made it up on the spot)

Imagine this…

You are standing in the middle of a long deserted road, in the middle of nowhere. No humanity in sight. Just you and the long empty road ahead.

All of a sudden, appearing right in front of you out of nowhere, you see this giant Mack Truck coming straight at you. At this point, you may as well be wearing horse guides since you don’t acknowledge anything to the left or right of you.

You are now completely blinded by the sight of this Mack Truck coming straight at you, unable to see past it. You are also oblivious to what is behind it.

You’re looking straight into the headlights of this giant Mack Truck. You notice the truck is carrying very familiar cargo. The cargo looks something like this:

  • A to-do list longer than your Christmas list when you were a kid
  • Tax deadlines
  • Bill deadlines
  • School deadlines
  • Paperwork for an upcoming job
  • Tasks you procrastinated for weeks and months
  • Grieving a loss
  • Haunting thoughts about the past
  • Crippling thoughts about the future
  • Anything else you may see as a problem leading to your stress

Now, it appears you have two choices right?

Move out of the way immediately. This represents you dropping nearly all other priorities in life such as sleep, working out, good nutrition, health, family, ME time, and any other aspects of your life that are highly valuable, in order to eliminate these problems.

Leading you to wonder…“how do I complete all these tasks so I can stop seeing this Mack Truck coming at me?”

Or…

You don’t move out of the way and get hit by the Mack Truck (not fun I imagine).

What if…

You wake up and realize that there is no Mack Truck?

That is was all in your head?

That you made the whole thing up?

And when you do wake up to realize this, you notice there is the most beautiful horizon that was hidden beyond the sight of the Mack Truck the entire time. This horizon represents the ultimate beauty of life that is available to see any time you want.

Just in front of the horizon, you notice the road splits into 10 different paths you could take. Each path presenting a different option for you, now giving you 10 choices instead of the 2 that you had when the Mack Truck was in front of you.

Leading you to now wonder…“how can I maintain sight of the beauty of life while completing these tasks?”

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

Absurd Ironies We Live By

Absurd Ironies We Live By

Our lives are chock-full of illogical idiosyncrasies. Most of us lead lives of confusion and complexity mainly because we over-complicate the simple, and reverse the straightforward.

Here are some absurd ironies we all live by or have lived by at one time or another. Feel free to add your own to the list in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you can come up with 🙂

Enjoy!

Absurd Ironies We Live By:

We fear death yet don’t live like we’re going to die

We mourn death yet don’t celebrate life while it’s happening

We live in the past and wonder why we’re depressed

We live in the future and wonder why we’re anxious

We’re brave to hold up a mirror for others yet fear to look in our own

We spend 1/3 of our day at a job we don’t like and wonder why we aren’t happy

We try to avoid feeling certain emotions and wonder why we feel numb

We neglect to give ourselves love and wonder why we feel nobody loves us

We don’t take care of our bodies and wonder why our bodies break down

We retire from a job we never loved only to realize we wouldn’t have retired if we loved our job

We wait for others to make the first move yet it everyone thought like that there would be nothing to wait for

We believe in Karma yet live like we’re immune to it

We believe in material things yet don’t believe in ourselves

We constantly look for shortcuts and then wonder where the beauty in the journey is

We think we’re separate yet all of our hearts are told to beat by one

We search for our answers outside of us yet we have an infinite well of wisdom within us

We’re quick to judge others yet seldom look in the mirror

We’re always focused on what to do and then wonder why we aren’t who we want to be

We feed ourselves with man-made food and wonder why we have so many man-made diseases

We degrade our health to make money then spend that money on our degrading health

We trust the egos of other people yet don’t trust our own intuition

We hold grudges thinking we’re handing off our pain to the other person yet we’re the only one feeling the pain

We have most of our conversations through messaging and wonder why we don’t feel connected

We’re in a rush to get everywhere and wonder why we feel like we’ve gotten nowhere

 

 

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

Be Aware Of What You Bring Home Before It Becomes Your Home

How do you currently view your home? What does your home represent to you? A sanctuary? A war zone? A workplace?  A retreat? A warm welcome? A stress inducer? Would you like to change how you view your home?

We need to be very, very careful with what we bring into our homes, mentally and physically. These two factors will determine what your home represents to you.

Bringing Emotions Home

Maybe you had it out with your boss or co-worker Maybe you had your vacation denied or were told you “had” to work this coming weekend. Maybe you got into a fight with your spouse. Whatever the reason is, for your own sake and the sake of anyone you live with, don’t bring those emotions from those events into your home if at all possible.

Unless you’re one of the few people who has a room in their home dedicated to meditation, thought processing, or some form of mental or spiritual retreat, find time and space outside of your home to be with your thoughts and emotions. (If you don’t currently have a designated space in your home for this then it would be a great idea to see where you can implement one.)

Our homes are littered with distractions, kids, spouses, television, smartphones, iPads/Tablets, computers/laptops etc. All of them are a one-way ticket to the hazardous destination that arrives when we ignore our emotions.

This is when we lash out at our kids, pets, spouses, or anyone else who happens to be standing in front of us. So help them as they reap the wrath of our emotions.

Before long, we no longer look forward to coming home. We blame our kids and/or spouses for what we don’t want to come home to, yet take no responsibility for the distorted vision we bring home.

What tends to work for many people is spending whatever time they need (5-10min) in their cars to sit with their emotions, without distraction. Once you feel them, they will pass. This allows you to become more conscious of the thoughts and emotions you are bringing into your home.

You may do this by taking a longer, more scenic route home, or sitting in a parking lot somewhere.

For more insight on making this time effective I recommend you read my post of How To Quiet Your Mind With Meditation or Techniques after you read this one. You can then apply what you learn there to your quiet time.

Physically Bringing Work Home

With people working more and more hours, it is not uncommon for work to be brought home. Most people anxiously await the first opportunity to bring work home just to get out of the office. However, this can be a really, really bad idea. Let me explain why.

The more we perform a certain action within a specific environment, the more we associate our environment with that action. If that action is one you would not like to associate with your home, DO NOT bring it home.

If the environment that you normally perform that action within is not the desired representation you want of your home then do not bring that action home.

For most people, the action is work-related and the undesired environment is work-related. Voila, you now view your home as a workplace or an office.

Working From Home

If your job allows you to work remotely from home for any amount of time, or you work from home full time, it is in your best interest to ensure you have a designated room for your office.

To avoid viewing the rest of your home outside of your office as a work environment (and any emotions associated with work) keep your work inside the office. Do not make exceptions to this rule by sometimes sitting down at the breakfast bar with your laptop and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

Before long you will look at your breakfast bar as a place of work rather than a potential place of peace with a cup of coffee, to reflect on yesterday’s wins and learning experiences.

Change Your View And What You See Changes

Your home is whatever you want it to be. After all, fundamentally it’s just a bunch of bricks mended together on top of a framework that gives us a sturdy foundation, electricity, and running water.

Any meaning that is given to your home beyond the materials it is made of is solely created by you. Even the purpose of your home is thought created, by you.

Change your view of your home and what you see of your home will change.

If you want your home to be a safe resting place, start creating that.

If you want your home to be full of love and peace, start creating that.

If you want your home to be a retreat from work, start creating that.

Whatever you want your home to represent to you, start creating it.

If you’re struggling with ideas on how to recreate your home environment then please share your story in the comment section and let’s come up with some ideas on how to make that happen for you.

Treat your home how you want to see your home

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

2 Shockingly Simple Questions That Will Help You Make Better Decisions

2 Shockingly Simple Questions That Will Help You Make Better Decisions

How would you like to be able to make better decisions just by asking yourself 2 shockingly simple questions? These 2 questions will have the power to rock your beliefs, shift your perspective immediately, and create clarity before you make a decision that could lead to a costly mistake.

Don’t let their simplicity fool you, make sure you read the backstory to each question to understand why they are so powerful and how to use them effectively.

Undesired Feelings Lead to Undesired Actions

I use these 2 questions on a daily basis any time I have a thought in my head that is creating undesired feelings or I want more clarity with my thoughts. Being aware that our actions are largely driven by emotion, I ask these 2 questions to ensure I don’t make decisions that I might later regret.

You can ask the 2 questions any time, but where they really shine is when you’re experiencing dilemma or undesired emotions. They will provide you with a source of emotional intelligence that has been previously untapped.

Objective: Separate Thought from Reality

Reality is defined as what actually happened or is happening without our thoughts attached to it.

A thought is defined as the meaning we give or the opinion we have on what has happened or is happening.

When you’re truly able to see that your entire experience of life is based on a thought created reality, and not reality itself, you will experience true freedom.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Question #1: Is it really true?

I first came across this question through the work of Byron Katie, in her life-changing books of profound simplicity. The 2 books of hers that I read are A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart and Turn Your World Around and Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.

What I love about this question is how it helps us separate our thoughts from reality. Or in more general terms, see through our made up bull shit.

Example

Say someone you love in your life didn’t wish you Happy Birthday on the day of your Birthday, what does this mean? You may have thoughts such as “they don’t love me” “I’m obviously not important to them” etc.

Now you can ask this question to separate reality from your thoughts.

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Is it really true? No (it’s your opinion, and an opinion you don’t have to believe)

The reality – They didn’t say Happy Birthday. (that’s it, nothing more, any additions to this reality are thought created illusions)

Initially, you will notice A LOT of resistance toward letting go of the thought that is purely opinion based and separate from reality. This is normal. Merely asking the question “is it really true?” will plant a seed of doubt on its’ own.

After asking this question, if you sit with the thought long enough, you will start to notice that the chokehold it has on you will start to loosen and you will notice fresh new thoughts starting to breathe through.

This is all you need, a crack in the foundation, the next question will crumble it.

Question #2: Does/Will believing this thought serve the greater good?

You must first understand that the answer to this question must come from you, not your ego. Your ego will want to preserve itself as all it cares about is itself, nobody else. If the thought in your head only serves you and nobody else then you can bet it is ego based.

Using the example from above:

The thought – “They don’t love me”…Does/Will it serve the greater good?

Let’s look at both sides

Yes, believing this thought will serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you believe this thought will serve the greater good?

  • Ignore this person
  • Neglect to wish them Happy Birthday when theirs comes
  • Voice your dismay to your friends and family, possibly creating conflict
  • Treat this person with resentment

Is it a pleasant feeling that you carry inside when you resent another?

How do you treat others when you have resentment inside you?

Do these actions serve you being your best self?

Do these actions serve others?

If you’re being truthful, the answer to all of those will be a resounding no.

No, believing this thought won’t serve the greater good.

What are the actions that you might take if you don’t believe this thought will serve you or the greater good?

  • Reach out to them from a place of concern to make sure they’re OK because it is unusual for them to not say Happy Birthday
  • Wait non-judgingly until the next day, maybe something happened, such as their phone or internet being cut off

Try it and let me know how it goes!

I would love to hear your experience with applying these 2 questions to your thoughts. Share your experience or ask any questions you may have in the comments below!

Learn from all of your experiences, opportunities are everywhere.

Take care,

Rob Kish

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