This morning, as I sat down on the abduction machine, thinking of ways to speed this process of “getting to where I was at” or becoming an “athlete” again…. in front of me, limps a white-haired woman. My mind automatically asked “why” and then my eyes caught the folded pant leg… She was limping because her left leg was amputated. She was limping over to the machine beside me. She was dressed with her athletic clothes and even had the workout gloves. I really want to feel bad for her, even questioned my own morality as to why I DON’T pity this amputee woman. Instead, I felt amazed. It was so revering to see someone who has a “disability” to go to a place where everything there will remind her of her physical barriers. How grateful and blessed I was to see that this morning, when I was so caught up with my own vanity. If she knew that I was so afraid for 2 years to step in to the gym because I felt fat, I got soft, I can’t lift as much, what if the usuals see me like this, etc… this woman will straight up spit on my face for being so vain and weak-minded. My illness is as much of my life as breathing… and despite all of my struggles and victories with this illness, I manage to let all the negative thoughts manifest. I have as much disability as that woman. I have as much barriers and every single victimizing excuse as that woman. She SHOWED UP. Despite of everything that was stopping her to go today, she laced up her shoe, looked up and decided to go and workout. The courage, strength and tenaciousness reminded me of myself. It reminded me of how much I let the negativity sucked me in. I lost touch of what REALLY mattered in life. As she did her first set, I took a deep breathe in… and smiled. What a wonderful time to be alive.